Posted by Anonymous on 2012/11/28 under Uncategorized Let me tell you a story about my life. What i mean is that i worry way too much. I’m constantly thinking about something like “what if he leaves me”, “why me” and so on. My self-confidence is nonexistent. The sad thing is that of course he will eventually leave me if i can’t be genuinely happy around him. Hm. I’ve had long conversations with my boyfriend about this issue (some of them lasted through the night. Who cares about sexy time when you can discuss all that deep stuff about the past, present and future. And in addition you two understand each other completely. haha) He really wants me to feel better about myself, and no words can express how much i appreciate that. He has stayed and hopefully will stay beside me no matter what. I love him deeply. I just want to learn to love myself too. So… lately I’ve tried to gain some self-confidence, and some time ago, i felt actually beautiful when i looked at myself. It’s like i saw what my boyfriend sees. Now i’m little by little starting to feel that i’m beautiful and strong and that I actually do deserve him. Our relationship has gotten better. Hopefully i can spend many many more years with him.
When I think back my previous relationships, it seems like i fall into this weird, half-happy/half-melancholic state every time i fall in love. I may burst into tears of joy just because i love him so ridiculously much, but at the same time I’m sad and scared breathless.