Posted by Anonymous on 2012/11/14 under Uncategorized A while ago, my sisters’ (now ex) boyfriend broke into our house at 4 in the morning and beat her up. I woke up to him yelling at 5, then he slammed the door and left. I was so scared and I was shaking uncontrollably. I was wondering why my dad wasn’t out there. I thought he had been shot or something horrible like that. I grabbed my phone from the dock and hid between the wall and my bed-where you wouldn’t be able to see me. I finally heard my dads’ voice and ran out of my room. I had always known my sisters’ boyfriend would be dangerous. I always hated him He had a drinking problem and I heard he often got violent. I’m now scared to go out of my room at night or in the mornings when no one is awake for fear that he will be there. I don’t want to be afraid of him anymore. I was scared of him even before he got out of prison yesterday. I often think about how I would hurt him if he ever came near my sister.
I wonder why I’m the one trying to protect my older sister- why she isn’t helping me. She always go to me when she needs an ear, but what about me? I don’t want to go to the school counselor because I don’t really know her. I’ve told a few of my friends and they haven’t really helped much besides lending an ear for me to vent using words that aren’t exactly things I would say to a counselor. I’m scared and sometimes I honestly want him dead. I’m thinking about talking to my math teacher one day, because I really like her and she’s always been able to make time to help me. I don’t really need any advice, I just want to be able to vent about everything that’s been going on.
My brother and sister both aren’t very successful, and I want to be different. I make really good grades, but they’ve suffered because of all of these things. I don’t know what to do. So, contrary to my statement earlier, I guess I do need advice. I don’t turn things in on time very often, and I can’t seem to find the time to do homework, and often turn in work late. I don’t get in trouble at school, but I’ve been getting closer and closer to acting out every once in a while. I’m naturally introverted, but it’s getting worse. I can’t be in big groups, and the hallways and lunch line are like hell to me. A lot of my classes are small, which helps, but it’s still hard for me to focus.
I’m not sure if I should get help. I don’t want to tell my mom because she’s overprotective and my dad and I don’t talk about these kind of things, even though we’re extremely colse, and he’s saved my sister and I from many events like the one with my sister. I don’t think it’s healthy for me to keeping this in, because I often can’t sleep at night, and again, my grades are starting to suffer. I don’t believe anyone thinks anything is wrong, which is making it harder, because, being the youngest of 3, not many people believe me, and I’m always underestimated. Help?