I’m in class right now and I couldn’t find anything better to do. I sit behind the class, alone. I’m the girl you don’t see in the hallways.. the one with a wide imagination but can’t tell anyone because they wouldn’t understand.. I’m the one with no words to say, no feelings to express.. Just that one girl who has problems all the time.. Losing people one by one. I see my crush everyday, I like him but he obviously likes her… I talk to him, a lot. It’s hard talking to him without crying.. I cry every night, no one seems to notice. I cut my ankles and thighs, I don’t eat as much, no one seems to notice that either. My bruises are just there, making my legs and arms numb. I don’t tell people what my problem is, there’s nothing they can do about it. And my parents? I get along fine with them, but I’m just scared I’ll be judged. The things I do everyday is not me. The amazing girl I want people to see, can’t be seen without being judged by everyone. I am Stacy Xilom… if anyone is willing to at least be friends with me, that would be nice.
The first step to living a better life in this world is understanding that no one’s judgments are worth anything. Try not to care what people think. In the end, their thoughts are meaningless.
“Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God?”
-Romans 2:1-3
Just enjoy life because you only get one. And think about the positive things happening. We are all beautiful people and unique in our own way. Do not let people’s words effect you. I know that you are stronger than that. And if this kid that you like makes you cry at night because you have so many feelings for him, move on. I know there is some guy out there who will love you and he will come to you. As for the cutting, please stop. Self harm is the worst thing someone can do to themselves. It hurts so many others too. I know you can make it through this. Do not lose hope