Love Work Family Friends Games Kids Life

Posted by on 2011/07/17 under Uncategorized

i think i have depression.i’m not sure but all i know is i dont smile anymore and if someone asks me how i am feeling i just say ok but inside its just nothingness i think…it’s hard to describe. i do stupid things and get my heart broken. i feel sad sometimes like on farthers days as my dad left and i never met him and he divorcedd my mum 3 years ago i was in a bad place but i overcame it,but then i went to high school. every year so far i have been bullied 3years by the same people.and once by a teacher this was the most recent,i ran out of his class it got so bad and this has really shaken me up. i pretend to be strong but inside i tell myself never cry infrount of them,after we fight i run to the toilets and let it all out. i dont want to go to school again but it’s my last year so i guess i have no choice. the only place i ever feel safe is in fantasy..so i read a lot and lose myself in there and i write too,i think for me without knowing it it is a form of therapy. i had a theropist and a counciler but the bullying stopped for a while and i gained some confidence but i still cant accept compliments without thinking they are liying or jokeing. i’m fat and ugly and i pretty much hate how i look. sometimes i just dont want to be here anymore. as it’s the holidays i was trying to organise with my 2 best friends of they wanted to do something on facebook,but on the same place one invited the other round her house but not me,it’s happening quite a lot now and i feel lonely and stupid,why would anyone hang around wiith you the voice in my head keeps saying these things and i think they are true. i feel worthless and stupid.

One thought on “16-07-11(21:16:10)

  1. Here to listen says:

    You are not worthless. You are not stupid. You are not ugly. And I am not a liar.

    I know it may seem impossible to believe after all you’vebeen through, but you are amazing the way you are.

    I can’t believe people would do that to you. But sometimes people are cruel. Bullying is a terrible experience for anyone to go through.

    But I hope you know that you are beautiful. I don’t care how you look. The most important part of being beautiful is who you are underneath. I know so many people who think they are beautiful. But they talk about people behind their backs, say rude things. That isn’t beauty. Beauty is kindness towards others. You are beautiful.

    I hide in my reading/writing sometimes, too. It’s relaxing. It makes things go away for a while. Music is like that for me, too.

    I’m sorry about what happened with your friends. Perhaps it was an accident. But, whatever happened, it certainly wasn’t your fault.

    I’m glad to hear you have a counselor and therapist. I hope it can help you. Getting through something like this is extremely hard and it’s good to have some help. I am truly, so very sorry about your father. I’m sure he loved you.

    I just hope you know, that you are not worthless. That you mean something in this world. You have your own individual purpose. Always have hope

Leave a Reply

Name and Mail are optional. Your email address is however required if you want to subscribe to the comments (see below)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.