May 26, 2012 at 9:40…
I tried to kill myself.
I pushed a pillow against my face, but it didnt work.
I grabbed my nose and held my breath, but somehow id start breathing again.
I started reading about how many pills of a medication I found, does it take to die…
Why?
Because I believe in something about what happens after life.
Iv had a terrivle life no 13 year old should have…
And it started when I was 4.
At least thats all I can remember, I have “Blocked Out” most my life from my memories, and I only remembr the things that lft “bruises”, not the “Scars”.
Like when my Neighbor tryed to burn me to death while I was asleep, Attempted Kidnap, Sexual Assualt, 5 important people taken away from me… Yeah, thoughs are the “BRUISES”! My mom wont tell me about the “Scars”.
And all I want is to be happy, so I found what I believed after death, and I believe its my only chance at happiness…
AllyNa
And I took pills but Im only feeling dizzy, no pain…?
Why? All I want is to be happy in my own little world… So, Why?
Please do not try to kill yourself, death is not the answer. I can understand you have been through some horrible stuff in your short life and in young age. But you are sooo strong, ‘cos you have been through all that. God is watching and he will punish those who did wrong to you and you have a whole life ahead of you. You will have a wonderful life. Many many people have endured pain of all sorts, but again killing themselves is not the answer. You do good in life and good will come back to you. Karma is the ultimate thing. God is the ultimate decision maker. He will take care of you, he loves you, he is watching over you and will do the judgement for the good and bad. Please please live and you see you will meet someone who will love you like crazy take care of you in life and give you much happiness… Believe me
It’s funny, because it only got worse~! I’m at my limit now. 3 years ago I thought it was bad… Boy was I a fool.