I was vastly suicidal my entire life, still kinda am at 23, I have no idea what I'm doing now and everything feels unreachable at this point, I was wondering if anyone has any advice on how to get life started when you never planned on doing it??
One thought on “Need advice – I never planned to get this far”
Get in touch with your love of life, my friend! I’ve very much been where you are, and I’m 56 now. I survived, and no, it wasn’t easy at all. But I’d learned one very essential thing: I loved life, and wanted very much to live it, to fulfill it. So i got to a point where I decided to clarify why I wanted to live, and what ever made me feel like I wanted to end it. First, there was the simple joy of existing. Then, there’s the need to determine some goals for yourself, goals that give your life the definition and meaning you would like to have in it. What do you want for yourself, what would you like to accomplish? what do you love? What brings you joy? What makes you feel fantastic? Write these things down, speak them out loud; it helps to make the points clear in your mind, in your heart. Having identified some of these, you can now set some goals for yourself, to shape a direction for your life, the life you would like to live.
Second, sit, breathe. Relax. Do these often. Listen to your self, to your body, your mind; ask what is it that makes you feel so bad in your life, bad enough that you would consider ending it? Realize you don’t really want to go that path, do you? Something is hurting so badly within you that it makes you feel as if you want to end it all. But in actuality, you don’t. Try your best to understand those feelings, those thoughts, that depress you so badly. Where do they come from? What do they consist of? When do you get to feeling like this most? How often? Is there someone associated with this? Again, sitting or even laying down, breathing deeply, relaxing, let it come to you. Listen. Pay attention. Life is there for you to live; you’re living it, and surely you want to feel the joy of it, and live it to the utmost. Go easy on yourself. Identify those thoughts and feelings, those memories that bring you down, and try to identify how they work on you, where they come from. You are life itself, and these thoughts and feeling are just your byproducts, and they can change. They might suck now, but I’m sure you’ve had some great ones, some great moments as well, no? Love yourself. Forgive yourself if you need that, forgive others. Let go of the negatives, see them for what they are, and know that joy is yours to have; at 23, you’ve so much ahead of you–the world is your oyster, as they say. And your thoughts and feelings are not written in stone! Wake up every day saying this will be a good day, and make some goals for that day; you can embrace the opportunities for change–and put a distance between yourself and whatever or whoever makes you feel terrible. But also, learn to change the way that you respond to things that knowck you off balance. Life is truly a miracle, and we can easily forget or overlook this. But we can learn to become aware of this, just by knowing and changing our habits, our mindset, learning to make a habit of embracing life, and being grateful for the little things, because those little things all add up. With time, and practice, letting go of the crap, we can definitely change for the better. I know you can do it, because I did it, and I was for the longest time pretty damned close to ending it all. But I loved life, even though it seemed painful as hell, and it seemed like things would never change. But with commitment, starting with acceptance of your life as it is at the moment and knowing that you can change it in your favor, you can gradually see and start to live the results of really embracing it for the best.
Get in touch with your love of life, my friend! I’ve very much been where you are, and I’m 56 now. I survived, and no, it wasn’t easy at all. But I’d learned one very essential thing: I loved life, and wanted very much to live it, to fulfill it. So i got to a point where I decided to clarify why I wanted to live, and what ever made me feel like I wanted to end it. First, there was the simple joy of existing. Then, there’s the need to determine some goals for yourself, goals that give your life the definition and meaning you would like to have in it. What do you want for yourself, what would you like to accomplish? what do you love? What brings you joy? What makes you feel fantastic? Write these things down, speak them out loud; it helps to make the points clear in your mind, in your heart. Having identified some of these, you can now set some goals for yourself, to shape a direction for your life, the life you would like to live.
Second, sit, breathe. Relax. Do these often. Listen to your self, to your body, your mind; ask what is it that makes you feel so bad in your life, bad enough that you would consider ending it? Realize you don’t really want to go that path, do you? Something is hurting so badly within you that it makes you feel as if you want to end it all. But in actuality, you don’t. Try your best to understand those feelings, those thoughts, that depress you so badly. Where do they come from? What do they consist of? When do you get to feeling like this most? How often? Is there someone associated with this? Again, sitting or even laying down, breathing deeply, relaxing, let it come to you. Listen. Pay attention. Life is there for you to live; you’re living it, and surely you want to feel the joy of it, and live it to the utmost. Go easy on yourself. Identify those thoughts and feelings, those memories that bring you down, and try to identify how they work on you, where they come from. You are life itself, and these thoughts and feeling are just your byproducts, and they can change. They might suck now, but I’m sure you’ve had some great ones, some great moments as well, no? Love yourself. Forgive yourself if you need that, forgive others. Let go of the negatives, see them for what they are, and know that joy is yours to have; at 23, you’ve so much ahead of you–the world is your oyster, as they say. And your thoughts and feelings are not written in stone! Wake up every day saying this will be a good day, and make some goals for that day; you can embrace the opportunities for change–and put a distance between yourself and whatever or whoever makes you feel terrible. But also, learn to change the way that you respond to things that knowck you off balance. Life is truly a miracle, and we can easily forget or overlook this. But we can learn to become aware of this, just by knowing and changing our habits, our mindset, learning to make a habit of embracing life, and being grateful for the little things, because those little things all add up. With time, and practice, letting go of the crap, we can definitely change for the better. I know you can do it, because I did it, and I was for the longest time pretty damned close to ending it all. But I loved life, even though it seemed painful as hell, and it seemed like things would never change. But with commitment, starting with acceptance of your life as it is at the moment and knowing that you can change it in your favor, you can gradually see and start to live the results of really embracing it for the best.