Somewhere To Write

Posted by Anonymous on 2020/11/09 under Friends

I just wanted to find somewhere to write because I'm sad and feel disappointed. So I'm 14 years old. I have had a best friend of 5 years on an online game, he's also only 1 year younger then me. I started playing the game when I was pretty young, and it made me happy and I thought it was really fun. I had played the game for about a year before I met my now online ''best friend'' on there. To be honest, I know it's hard to explain how you could care so much about someone you have never met, seen, heard, hugged. But I truly felt connected to them and whenever I was sad they actually cared and listened, and made me feel better when my real life friends never did. They are funny, smart, sweet, kind, generous. I felt like we had so much in common to, at times we were so much like each other it was weird. Lol. So as I have said, I've known them for about 5 years now on this game. Suddenly out of nowhere it seemed like they just cut me off, he stopped talking to me for no reason. I sent them some messages and I got ignored, so I stopped texting them and I just didn't say anything more. After being ignored for a pretty long time, I FINALLY started a conversation with him. He used to be homeschooled, but he told me he was about to start public school. He then said ''Just know this won't change anything about our friendship.'' I thought it was really great he would be starting public school, because I myself am homeschooled and know the struggles that come with it. After this they stopped hanging out with me for awhile again, but I understood this considering he was in school now and probably didn't have the time. But today he told me something that made me sad, even though it shouldn't. He said that he was playing another game a lot so that's his new main game now. It makes sense why he hasn't been playing now, because he most likely has other friends on the new game he is playing. He said before that he wanted to move on from the game we're friends on, but I feel like that's just leaving me behind to. I feel stupid for wanting him to keep playing a game that we're both obviously going to move on from eventually. I myself already even said I was going to quit playing after the holidays because the game was just boring to me nowadays. The only reason I haven't stopped playing was because of the friends I talked to everyday. Anyhow, I didn't know what to say to him when he told me he moved to a different game. I wasn't going to be sad, because he seemed really happy about the new game and I didn't want to put him down about it. I know it would seem so petty and I didn't want to be overly sensitive. I didn't want to act sad about it because it obviously makes him happy and I wasn't going to make him feel bad about moving on from something he shouldn't attach his whole life to in the first place. I knew that he would quit the game sometime, it just surprised me that it seemed so easy for him to do, when all I felt was sadness when I thought about leaving the friends I texted every single day behind. I just responded saying I was happy that he could find another game that he loves, but inside I didn't want him to leave at all. But what can I say? ''Please don't leave, I'll miss you to much!'' or ''You can't play a new game!!''. I would never say any of those things because it's his decision whether he wants to leave and not be able to talk to me anymore. I guess I'll just really miss talking to him.. and as much as I want to be happy, it hurts that we will maybe never be able to talk again. I know it's dumb, but it's how I feel 🙁

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