I've been here many times. I promised it would never happen again. I feared I betrayed it, but… This time IS different. This time is unlike any other. For now I feel joy and passion, resentment and fear. I am now living and breathing, before I may have well been dead. This time, I am aware. This time I feel I have something to lose. This time despite my wish for otherwise I care, and this… makes it difficult to accept the rational and cold decision. To turn around and never go back, to forget it all, never think of it again. This time I want to remember and this time I want to prolong it perhaps allowing it to transform. Perhaps allowing myself the time to see it in a new way. Turn it on its head, see it anew, to me that's always been the best way to solve a puzzle.