Posted by Anonymous on 2020/03/22 under Life It’s in those type of moments when i ask myself a lot. Is it what i really want, is it what you want to live your life. I have been directed since i was young. I was always been told what to do and what not to do. I haven’t ever question this. Until, lately i have kinda been lost. Because all of what i believe in all the goals that i have set all the meaning has been lost, everything just is fading away. It’s like a connection that’s being blured lately. A connection between my body and my soul. A war between them. A connection that has been cut. Since i was young i always want to change be a better person just develop and ameliorate some things in me. This is how i have been working because i was directed that i need to be a good person in this world if i want to have a place in it. But this changes has now then i am 18 changed. Because that little child who dreamed of power and richness past then have experienced the pain and the hurt that must been lived to get on the top a change that made the real young adult me , now that i am 18 , à selfish hearltess and empty person . Someone who is just too greedy someone who has lost all the principles, someone who ill never hesitate to betray another person to get to that edge part and just embrace the infinite power. Someone who is just not me yet he is in me, living here. Someone who doesn’t even care about his family. But is it really my fault? Have i never been taught to work as much as i can , do whatever you can to have the power so that you can taste happiness ? Have i never been taught to not trust the other because it’s knowing you that they can better destroy you ? Have i never been taught to always keep my goals on set and not be distracted by anything ? I am not saying that now i live the life that i always dreamed of no it’s even far from that , it’s e even just the beginning now that i have a chance to really change it. But the person that i became , the person who is really strange from me make me ask myself is it really what i want? Is it really the money the power the cars the fashion that i really want ? Is it really ? Because if it is really why am i messing up my chance ? Why this emptiness is filling me ? Why i am disgusted by myself ? Why i am just waiting for death instead of just grabbing everything and wrok hard ? Why ?