Posted by Anonymous on 2020/03/10 under Life I honestly don't know how people just become so comfortable with the life that's presented to them. I constantly question if I am making the correct choices, commitments, decisions. When I make them it's usually on a whim. Sometimes the out come is awesome other times not so much. If there's an outcome that I know I want and I try to aim for it there's often some distraction that forms. Or some major obstacle(s) that make it unreachable. So ultimately I have to just go with what's given to me in that particular situation. At times when I'm making decisions there is someone that knows less then me telling me that they know more and I become ill informed. In the end making a poor decision. But who's fault was it when I listened to them. No one's but my own. Many times I have been told that I won't reach some goal or I'll be making the wrong choice and in the end it works out fine. These thoughts of self doubt on the outcomes and decisions made still don't just disintegrate. There in my head after they are made constantly being brought up, over thought about, picked apart, running over different outcomes of what could of, should of, would of been or happened. If I had just done this instead of that. The good choices and the bad ones. I just feel that I could constantly swim upstream with a strong never ending current pushing against my chest or I could just grab a life preserver hold on for dear life and float on down the stream. Trying to not get to caught up in the jagged rocks along the bank. Only looking forward to make sure there's no waterfalls to pull me too far under. My mind will still wander but but body will be continuously pulled on down the stream.