So my boyfriend and I have been together for about 9 months now. At first like many relationships it started out quite wonderful, but over time things began to change for the worse. He went saying that neither of us would have friends of the opposite sex, of course, eventually it came to my attention that he wasn't staying true to his word. I began to find messages from him that could be close to being flirtious, even for just being "friends". Like any guy caught in this situation, he didn't see the error nor harm in it. Claimed that it didn't mean much to him. I, of course, forgave him every time because I was to in love with him. This went on for some quite some time until he eventually stopped, but only for a while- until he started again. The funny thing is that he sees my guy friend hugging me as a sign of cheating, yet doesn't see his current actions as harmful and very "cheatful"
Wow! both of you made it 9 months under those claims??????
Hey waiter! Reality check please??????
No one in this world can go without interacting with another of the opposite sex (in the norm of things). you should have passed that off that comment the moment it was said! But you agreed to do the same??????
Really? in your fantasy land idealistic relationship commitment and claims/agreements, you actually went 9 months without ever speaking to another male friend and he another female friend, without looking at one, lusting at one, wanting or whatever? Highly unlikely in the real world of teens. Also, You admitted you let guys hug you but your trying to put the blame on your boyfriend for flirtations. I bet you did or said some things to friends as well that could be brought to question. so dont be the pot calling the kettle black.
Both of you need to lighten up and relax on the rules, but stay in tune to your relationship status commitment if this deep love thing is to move forward. that is not to say (create rules ) as one rule has 10000 possible “what if” scenarios/situations and will only complicate things and eventually lead to arguments, hurt feelings and breakups or other. Like innocently hugging every friend x 10,000 = jellousy,flirting and a ticking time bomb that may lead to breakups or other.
Relationships are about two sided love for each other, trust and feeling good, safe, and happy with each other, not rules and arguments about who said what, who broke the rules first, we’ll both agree to not talk or interact with the rest of the world or never have friends of the opposite sex. That is just childish.
Yes, mutual Friends (of you and the boy) should be able to hug, just like both of you should be able to say some mild and innocent flrit without the world coming to an end…..but all should have very strict limits as it can be a bombshell in a lot of situations. Even in adult relationships, Its just something exclusive of very close and mutually trusted friends (ONLY). even then physical contact can lead to other things and ruin friendships and trust for both parties… but you cant run around being jealous of every action your mate makes.
Both you and he sound very immature and inexperienced in relationships….. so the both of you need to re-evaluate your commitment promises and quit letting jealousy and other normal interactions interfere.