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Posted by on 2019/06/12 under Life

Just imagine, you’re a supervillain, fighting a hero who’s moderately strong, wearing a colorful suit, and making very annoying jokes. Sure he’s a tough opponent, but nothing you need to be truly scared of.

Then in the crowd watching, you spot an elderly woman looking for her nephew, or a sexy redhead watching the fight. Then you think “Hey, might be fun to kill that person, just to piss off that annoying bugman”. So you kill that person and run away, relishing in your moral victory.

Then the next days become f***ing hell.

You find yourself stalked by a foe who looks familiar, but who’s so different that you can’t say for sure it’s him.

He doesn’t joke around. He hardly even speaks. He’s just out to get you. Seeing someone you know to be generally fun-loving and sarcastic suddenly become so grim and sinister is already quite offsetting.

Then comes the fighting. And that’s when you realize how f***ed you are.

You’re used to holding your own against him, so you think it’s no big deal. And even if he beats you, you’ll end up in jail with merely a few bruises, right ?

Wrong.

This time, you can’t even touch him. You try to punch him, he’s gone. But when he punches you, he hits. And every punch breaks a bone. It’s not just that he hits harder ; this time, he is more focused. This time, he truly wants to hurt you.

That’s when you realize he’s been going easy on you this whole time. But now, that’s over.

And he proceeds to beat you into a bloody pulp. You try to resist, only to fail. Maybe he uses his fingers to rip off your face. And when you’re on the floor, all bloody, shaking, maybe crying and begging, he might choose to kill you. How ? Snapping your neck, filling your lungs with web, hanging you, throwing you off a bridge… so many possibilities… Or he might let you live. And you’ll be well-advised to hang up the supervillain outfit and try a new profession. No matter if you have to pay taxes.

So to you all, aspiring supervillains, one word of advice : if you ever get into a fight with Spider-Man and you see someone he seems to truly care about, DO NOT HURT OR KILL THAT PERSON. ’Cause if you do, there will be Hell to pay.

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