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Posted by on 2019/03/12 under Life

I was walking down the high street,
When I heard footsteps behind me.
And there was a little old man ([Hello!])
In scarlet and gray, chuckling away

Well he trotted back to my house
And he sat beside the telly ([Ahh!])
With his tiny hands on his tummy
Chuckling away, laughing all day

"I ought to report you to the Gnome Office."
["Gnome Office? Ahahahah!"]

Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me
Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me,
Said the laughing gnome
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Well I gave him roasted toadstools,
And a glass of dandelion wine. ([*burp* Pardon…])
Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne.
Carried his bag, and gave him a fag.

["Have you got a light, boy?"]
"Here, where do you come from?"
["Gnome-man's land, heehee!"]
"Oh, really?"

In the morning, when I woke up,
He was sitting on the edge of my bed,
With his brother, whose name was Fred.
He'd brought him along to sing me a song.

"Alright, let's hear it… 'ere, what's that clicking noise?"
["That's Fred, he's a metro-gnome, haha!"]

Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me
Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me

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