Posted by Anonymous on 2019/01/02 under Life I've been hiding this for 6 years now and it still haunts me till this day. My own brother took a vantage of me and I feel like its all my fault if I could've been smarter and less naïve I would have saw it coming. I wish I can go back in time and change everything. Till this day he smile in my face like every thing is okay but its not and I wish I can just come out and say that…But its too late.
From-Unkown
Hey, Anon, it’s okay.
My name is Kat.
No, I’m not some professional or therapist in any of this, but I want you to know something, alright?
It doesn’t matter how long ago it was.
All that matters is that 1), he did it and 2), it still bothers you/has traumatized you.
It’s never, ever too late to tell anybody about it. Even if a year, six years, or hell, a decade has passed since it happened. It still happened.
Trauma like that is just as bad, if not worse than, physical trauma. It can and will ruin your life if you let it build up.
I know that there’s absolutely no reason to trust someone like me, an anon online, but I’ve been through this exact situation twice.
You can be helped. And there are dozens of people willing to do so.
So what do I recommend?
Go to the someone. Anyone. Hell, even someone online like me. Tell this person about everything. Then, go to therapy. The first time I was sexually assaulted, it took months for me to open up about it, but it honestly works a wonder. My mindset now is so much clearer than when it first happened. After, during, or before therapy, there’s something you need to face: Family.
Open up to them. Start with your parents, maybe. Whether or not they believe you is their choice, but they’ll at least know the truth. It’s going to make you feel much better, trust me.
Don’t confront your brother. Not in the open, not in private, not over text. At least, not yet. With the way things seem to be going now, confronting him will likely end up placing you into a dangerous situation. Wait until you’re more comfortable addressing their situation. Talk to him with a third party present, be it your therapist, your parents, or anyone.
Lastly, don’t be afraid.
Of course, I know there’s no point in telling you, because you’ll be terrified out of your mind. Telling that first person. Talking to your therapist. Talking to him. But hey, you need to take a deep breath, try to stay calm. It’s extremely easy to panic and have an anxiety attack during situations like this.
Whether or not you follow my shoddy advice is up to you. Just remember to breathe, it’s just a rhythm.
Oh GD, here is another c***ifile screaming like her whole life is gloom and doom because someone penetrated or touched her bleeding gut.
THere is not one female alive that will not spit in the face of a man who has previously seen them naked or had some type of sex with them, even if they involked it.
Lil miss innocent.
What do you think that body part was made for Worshiping as some false IDOL. Get over it, I bet the first nigger that pays the little white girl a look and gives you a gram of crack for your crack, leaves you knocked up will get more praise.
You walked around with your tits hanging out no bra on, waving your ass twirking, teasing him by laying spread leg in front of him while wearing no panties and giving him a peek. what did you think was going to happen.
You being a female, will never admit your role and evade any repsonsability and accountability, your controbution, yet you want to betray your own fleash and blood because he liked it (smiles) and at the time it occured YOU LIKED IT, but dont want to admit it.
MOVE ON WHITH your life, deal with it and quit giving into the Brainwashing buzz sh_t women movement that gives the false illusion that every female that has had sex deserves some special attention.
SEx happens, its natural, everyone in the world does it. With everyone they want.
Hey, Anon, that’s uncalled for.
I understand that there are, upon occasion, women that are willing to abuse the system to do terrible things to people who do not deserve it. However, you need to save your anger for people like them, alright?
Look, I don’t mean to patronize you or make you more pissed off than you already seem, but you need to understand that not everybody who has sex wants it. There are thousands of people throughout the world who are forced to do it or feel obligated to do so, and it’s never their fault.
People who blame the victim and make the raped person feel worse about the situation in general only make the entire situation worse. People need to understand that rape is rape, and rape is extremely complicated. Males are raped. Buff males are raped. Children can be raped. Women can be raped. It doesn’t matter who it happens to, it just matters that it happens.
Of course, this makes the situation entirely harder to understand. And people are innocent until proven guilty. However, the last thing anybody needs is for other people to make victims feel ashamed about opening up about the situation. Bottling it up leads to anxiety, depression, and even suicide.
I’ve been there before.
Anon, all I’m saying is that you need to understand that it isn’t always the victim’s fault. Sure, there are situations in which there never was a rape and the victim was bluffing, but everyone needs to be open to the fact that this isn’t always the case.
Finally, I just want to know if you are alright. I’m terribly sorry for digging at all, but if you’d like to vent about anything going on, I’m here. Like I said, bottling things up makes it worse. If there’s something going on that you’d like to talk or just yell about, I’m here. Yell at me, not the OP, okay?
(-Kat)
(girl to girls)
I want you to know its Okay and YOU ARE NOT TRAPPED IN A BOX to take Kat’s advice. You don’t have to say anything and you can and will continue to have a happy life. Even though your brother aggravates you with the grin. My brother aggravated me too, then I realized he was kind of teasing me just like the other boys. That was over 30 years ago.
I know this because I slept with my brother at an early age too, I was too young and didn’t quite know what I was doing either and yes it happened more than once. But I am not advocating the continuing act. However! At the time I admit it was kind of welcomed, and like you later I regret it! But for some unexplained reason, I also cherish the times and experience with him. Now I see it as hardly something any different than anyone else I cared about as I matured. Is it something I should destroy my brother and family over? No! I accepted that I played my part and role, not just him and he is not pure evil as kat would have you belive! So I suggest to you, rethink the situation and your options, realize any role you might have played, take your responsibility and learn from it, embrace and cherish the experiences and allow the past and any misstates to mend themselves. It will and you only have one family! I know I felt a closer bond with my brother after that, even though we still fought and he aggravated me, he was always there for me. We are still close and lead Happy Lives to this day.
Sex is not the end of the world, its the beginning of a new life.
Kat, Shame on you for the best intentions but ill advice-
You had some soothing words and valid points and I recognize your good intent, but not all of them applicable in all situations! So I have to say Wow!
You are quick to suggest many things,and especially to burn any male at the stake! Brother, father, whose next? Sex is not so bad as to burn the world down, families, or men’s lives just because you don’t like it, made a mistake, or the song kept playing after you wanted it to stop. I have to ask are you a survivor or a instigating manipulator full of motherly like advice or part of the feminine vagina club? Its okay, I use to be a member too, when I hated and was full of spite.
Do you even know the details of what happened?
Beyond the ambiguity of what she wrote above? Step back and be honest, we don’t know the full story. From the sound of it anything could have taken place, hopefully mutual. It could have been a willing act that she now regrets as she understands a little better, it certainly didn’t sound all so forceful else she would have worded it differently! It sounded more experimental and she just dose not like the fact now or her brother smiling at her, maybe just subconscious about it. It could be just child rivalry outside of the facts. So I ask you what is next, more collateral damages, burn all sexual Ex-lovers/partners at the stake because they crack a smile when you walk past?
Shame on you again!
All of your quick to judge (he did it not you) advice, don’t trust the brother, then you suggestively implied he might kill you (danger zone)?
When she conveyed that they still encounter each other so they both probably still live at home together and he is not much older? Obviously not some creep on the streets. And you implant your paranoia into her head?
Expect panic attacks, you will need therapy, etc…. in your soothing advice you are trying to debilitate and weaken her not make her stronger with such talk!
You probably caused more trauma and mental anguish than any foreskin (Now and future) that might have rubbed her the wrong way. You cant go around poisoning the minds of everyone with your own tribal agendas and manias. Rethink what you are saying.
The man made more sense than you are willing to accept or admit! Yes he was kind of crude, but honest in a social standpoint of interracial situations, and I think it what he said was more about your comments than her!
SO Don’t be so quick to shoot off your lips and think your 2 encounters makes you an athority any more than the next person or gives you the right to destroy a child, a woman, man or family! There is more than one option in life.
Step back and think for a moment. Are you reliving your sexual ventures, are you reliving your contempt’s through her and trying to pass them along?
If so, it Might be time for a re-visit to the Doctor and support groups. Hun!
I never seen any female fall over dead from having sex, obviously not even you. Ill confirm this again when I reach 80.
So Back Off kitty kat! You are distorting the situation with the wrong messages.
Besides, you cant have all men who you have sex with thrown in jail. AA Batteries are too expensive! 😉
To the Anon above me,
I am very sorry to have written my previous comments in a way that seem to have (offended? I don’t want to send the wrong message here…) Disturbed you in any way. I was only trying to help in calming the OP down slightly.
I understand that, yes, I have made mistakes (many) in my responses above. I would like to apologize for that. I never meant to offend or hurt anybody in this. I also want to acknowledge that sex isn’t the same for everybody. Therefore, I also admit that I was wrong to unintentionally stake any sort of claim in the ‘knowledge of rape or sex or whatever the f**k’
Listen, I just get it. The second guy was right in a few ways, yeah, but he was definitely wrong in the sense that every woman who has sex enjoys it. I never said that every sexual encounter is rape or is unenjoyable, just that it is a possibility and that they exist.
In the end, I’m honestly sorry about this. All of my advice is honestly terrible. I don’t know why I would have posted in the first place, honestly, as I (despite encouering this before) am still extremely inexperienced in this field of the human psyche. I am not a therapist or a psychologist. I likely never will be (considering that I’m going to culinary school) and therefore shouldn’t have offered advice that would likely make the situation worse.
The initial situation never called for a response, and so I should not have offered one. I, therefore, am in the wrong and accept it. I apologize. I will also refrain from offering advice on similar issues in the future and will also refrain from replying on this thread further. Not because I am afraid of further responses, but because the last thing that anybody wants is a mess of a comment section here, if that makes sense.
Goodnight, Anons.