Posted by Anonymous on 2018/12/12 under Kids GOD, WATCHING CONAN. M. SEEMS TO BE UP AROUND 4 AM, BUT IS BACK ASLEEP NOW. BETH IS EXERCISING ON THE ELLIPTICAL. I GOT OUT OF BED TO URINATE AND FEED THE CAT. I HAD THE FIRST FRENCH SODA OF THE DAY AND I CHECKED MY EMAIL. I WAS GOING TO GO TO CHURCH BUT THE BODY SEEMS TOO EXHAUSTED, I WILL WAIT UNTIL THE BODY SEEMS WILLING ENOUGH TO MAKE IT (HAPPEN?) WHAT DOES GOD NEED FROM ME TODAY THAT WE ARE ABLE TO DO? I CAN ACCEPT THAT I AM POWERLESS OVER SEX, OPIATES AND ALL OTHER MOOD ALTERING EMOTIONS AND THE LIFE HAS BECOME UNMANAGEABLE TO ME. I WANT TO TURN MY WILL AND MY LIFE OVER TO THE CARE OF GOD AS I UNDERSTAND GOD. AND I AM WILLING TO HAVE GOD REMOVE ALL OF THESE DEFECTS OF CHARACTER, THE ONES I KNOW ABOUT AND THE ONES I AM BLIND TO THAT GOD CAN SEE BETTER THAN ME. I AM UNKNOWABLE TO MYSELF WITHOUT GOD, SO FORTH. I WANT TO GET OUT OF GODS WAY SO THAT THIS PROGRAM OF GENTLE AND HEALTHY ACTION CAN HAPPEN FOR ME. I LOVE GOD AND I AM WILLING TO ACT AS THOUGH I MIGHT BE JESUS, EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NEVER SHAKEN HIS HAND (UNLESS I HAVE AND I DON'T REMEMBER) PLEASE HELP ME NOT TAKE MYSELF TOO SERIOUSLY AND TO TRAVEL IN THE HEART OF ZEN, WHETHER IN BED, UNMOVING, UNMOVEABLE, OR IN THE WORLD, PLEASE BE KIND TO ME AND ALLOW ME TO ACCEPT THE DEATH OF ME, IT IS A GOOD PAIN THAT I CAN LEARN HOW TO ARTICULATE BY LIVING IT FULLY. I AM GETTING OUT OF GODS WAY BY DINT OF HABIT AND REPETITION. PLEASE REMOVE FROM ME ALL THESE DEFECTS OF CHARACTER WHICH SSTAND IN THE WAY OF MY USEFULNESS TO GOD AND THE FELLOWS OF THE PROGRAM. I AM WILLING AND ABLE TO BE OF SERVICE TO GOD HIMSELF. I ACCEPT THAT I AM NOT HERE, BUT GOD IS, SO FORTH. I AM POWERLESS OVER THESE EMOTIONS AND MY LIFE HAS BECOME UNMANAGEABLE. SILENTLY ANONYMOUS, -THE ARCHER