Posted by Anonymous on 2018/12/04 under Kids Sex Addicts Anonymous, Right now I am trying to get to sleep and I am being plagued by memories of nostalgia from my formative years. I'm beginning to see that the women I am with are me, at least the fantasies I've had of them are me, and what I've expected of them to be and what they really are is so much different from the fantasy. I need help to let go of this character defect of constantly being on the lookout for nostalgia, even in dreams, so I can relive successful moments from the past. I'm afraid that if I don't get God to remove these defects of character, I will wind up back on the street, stealing my siblings car(s) and robbing my M. to get what I need to feel good, back on that insanity train. I am afraid that if I don't show up for Gods grace I will lose touch with it and I can get steamrolled all over again. God please hear me out. I need protected from this darkness of the selfless. How insane it gets in the chaos of the groundless. If I might ask to be guided as slowly as possiblle into a state of joy and bliss I would be most welcome to allow the grace to flow through my veins untranvenously. Please help me release these wonders of the heart and get me back to a state of the new normal we've been creating together. I'm afraid that if I go back to bed I'm going to re-meet the howling fantods. Can God guard my dreamss for me? I don't know how else to get back into the flux without getting into the sleepwalking patterns of mouseturbation, and excedssive longing and misery. Please help me tame this grief, desire and emptiness. If God can't do it, no-one can. I am here, I am in here, and I am willing to surrender my will for the sake of God. Please protect my body from the hellishness of the insane imagination. And guide me towards unspiritual tower of makebelieve so I can forget it once and for all. I have no hope without God. I need God more than I need the self. I am willing to release the self so I can re-see God in the everydayness of life itself. Please heal this wound, this defect of character so that I might not have to be scared so much anymore. I pray Jesus can understand my prayer and that it hasn't been too long winded, bizarre or strange. Silently Anonymous, -The Archer