Posted by Anonymous on 2018/09/03 under Life I'm not sure if I'm being fake or unrealistic, maybe I'm trying to satisfy my partner when he's doing nothing for me. I feel like I'm in this marriage alone I'm not even sure if who I am or why am I even still married, Im just breathing and have no hope.im not even sure of what I must write I just need a place where I can tell my story
You know, life is funny and it usually sucks when you evaluate it on an overall and at detailed level. Marriage is a 110% / 110% effort (not 50/50) for both parties. but there are temporary situations where you might need to carry a little extra weight as to make it over some hump or cross road on the others behalf. No one can eat pizza every day of their life and love it fully each day, so we need to proverbial break from the mechanical routine. But carrying the whole load of both (Long term) should not become a full time job and you need to address this boldly (not in argument) communicate this to Him/Her face to face, perhaps on a dinner date.
I myself went through the above and did so for over 6 years before I finally decided to call it quits and divorced. I played both roles Mommy, daddy, and it seemed that I did everything and the loads kept getting larger until I lost sense of self and identity and took on their shortcomings. Pretty soon it all became my faults over their’s.
That BS your doing it for the kids (keeping it alive) doesn’t float in this situation, as the kids see the effects and it teaches them the wrong approach to a relationship as well. Latter it will determine their happiness and other outcomes as well…. think about that if you cant think about your self.
Be strong and don’t rush it, but don’t linger on the sidelines either! Above all be civil and play fair.