Posted by Anonymous on 2018/03/05 under Life I've never hated anything in my life until I met this person. It's my stepdad. THe feeling I have for his behavior is just disgust and so much more. I just can't stand him, But I don't want to hate him, in fact I want to love him. But I just can't get past his attitude, how he is just so annoying and frustrating and unfair and apathetic and just stupid sometimes and that we can't call him out for something and if we mess up it's a big deal,but when he messes up he just laughs. I hate it, I hate that he uses the I pay for everything so listen to me and that my opinions don't matter because i'm younger than him, although I am an adult and he just can't learn from he I'm always wrong and he just has to yell and make it worse and I hate it. I just really need to vent right now. I just can't handle this s***. Jesus help me. I can't do this anymore, I've fought him for so long It's not working. The only thing to to do is to try love him. But it's so hard, like how do you move on? How do you forget? I want to make this work for my mom's sake. She'll be by herself when I leave, because i'm aobut that age where i'll be moving out, thank God. I love my mom, but my stepdad is overwhelming and the worst part is that he thinks this shti is normal that yelling is normal maybe because of the f***ed up way that he grew up but not for me, but now it is for me, it's normal for me, it's my f***ing childhood, he f***ing ruined my f***ing childhood with this yelling s*** and this arguing and his impatience and his arugnements and accusations and I fucaking hate him, like I don't usually curse out loud, but my mind is a cursing sailor and I just f***ing hate him like why is he in my life? Damn it why, there were red flags mom, why the f*** did you have to marry this b****.
I digress. I have a serious anger problem when it comes to him. honestly I was never the type to be this way, to be angry, at least this easily, but man this just sucks. I wish that I didn't hate him, that I could make this work, but it's just so hard. GOd help me, I can't do it on my own, give me the strength to love this guy, because everytime I hug him, I don't mean it. my heart hurts from this hate, it's not good, i'll get a heart attack at this rate, Jesus help me just stop this hate, don't let the enemy win, let my heart go free, please/