Posted by Anonymous on 2018/02/23 under Friends I think my best friend is involve with me. Let me explain, I am a girl and he is a guy and we've been best friends literally for as long as I can remember. He is two years older than me and we have been together pretty much our whole lives. As kids of course we did things together being stupid young kids and being a guy and girl. He was my first kiss, I of course NEVER tell ANYONE that bc it would be SUUPPERR weird and my other friends know him and obviously would ship us. But the point is, as kids okay we did stuff like kiss but that stopped when we got older, but we never crushed on each other, at least I didn't. As time went by we lived normally, he had his crushes, I had mine, simple. But I noticed when I got to high school his behavior was different with me. I was a freshman and he was a junior (being 2 years older) and he would do stuff like when he would say something and I'd playfully say "I hate you" and he'd look at me n say I don't hate you though. The first time I really realized he did that I felt REALLY uncomfortable because since when did he care like that! Again we have been friends our whole lives the amount of times I've said I hate you and for some reason in my freshman year him telling me he doesn't hate me is the way he choose to react is WEIRD! But that's not all he would end ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS end our conversations with "I love you" EVERY SINGLE TIME and like I get it we are best friends and I do have a love for him but was it really necessary to say it every single f***ing time! Not even my own mother told me she loved me that many times. He just does strange things, like that was just freshman year but like I've had this theory for a while and I would test it, I would try to hold his hand and he would never let me for too long (maybe like a minute max) and when someone would ship us together (which was a lot btw) he would say "ew gross" which would just confuse me bc that's something I would say too but like he would say it but like I could tell it was like he didn't mean it. AGAIN we have grown up together do you know the amount of times we have had someone say we should be together and our answer is no it's always been know bc it would just be weird (we're like cousins basically I mean I say his mom is my aunt) and as children we always recognized that it was weird but when he would say "ew" it was like he was saying it bc he had too like he knew that's what I would say. When he would say it he would look at me like idk for approval or something idkkk. And more recently he's in college and he said n I quote "you're like my only friend right now" which makes sense him being a freshman in college and all the people he talked to in hs we're deadass just the kids you tolerate talking to in class but would never actually hang out with. And the few people *he* considered "friends" would & will never text him back so yeah I am his only friend which is only a problem bc if he does have feelings for me if I am the only one there for him that's just going to make it worse. Oh and this Valentines Day he posted an of guard pic he took of me and said something like "she my wcw everyday I love u" type bulls*** and I'm just here like ahhhrrgrrghghhhh but that is not the first time he's done something like that ok he has done that a few times now where he takes an off guard pic and posts it always saying something super cringe and gross and I really wish he would stop. In between all this I guess you can say like (but it wasn't all that) a few guys and him being my bff I told him these things just naturally, I held back from telling him about one guy bc I had the idea that he might like me and I didn't want to rub a "crush" in his face but I told him anyway and he was supportive and normal which looking back is weird if he does like me (which he probably doesn't and I'm just being paranoid and completely wasting my time writing this). oH and very recently just last week we were in the car listening to a song and I said "ugh this song reminds me of someone" & he said the same thing and I quickly asked him "wHo?!" and he didn't want to tell me & that's bulls*** ok because he would have told me if he even thought a girl was pretty which he hadn't so I KNEW there was no one else going on and when he wouldn't tell me who I remembered one day when we were hanging out together we listened to that same song and it was my fav song at the time so I MEAN COME ON! The same song & me being like the only person in his life bruh u can't deny that but I just don't understand y he didn't just tell me, well at least in that case like it ReAlLy wouldn't have been a big deal if he would've just said "you" but the fact he chose to hide it tells me something's up. Okay lemme wrap this up. I don't like him back, I'm not even attracted to him. And there is a S***LOAD of reasons why I know he doesn't tell me (one def being he knows I don't feel the same) but I just wish he would!! Like seriously I just want him to be honest with me. So what if he gets his heart broken he needs to stop being a little s*** & just own it! Please it wouldn't be the first heartbreak in the world, he'll get over it. Also, ik ur thinking "why don't you just ask him a******?!!" WHAT IF I'M WRONG OK WHAT IF I'M WRONNGG!! I can't risk it especially since even if he'll lie. He'll lie till the point where he might even convince himself bc he'd rather be in love w me from afar than get his heart broken which is stupid anyway bc he knows exactly why him & I would never work out like that.