Posted by Anonymous on 2017/09/13 under Life I always tell you how easy it would be to leave you… whenever I'm feeling to hopeless… I always play these scenarios in my head. But, because there's always a BUT. One more scenario.. Maybe it's not you. Maybe it's me. I tell you I don't need you. the thing is that I Don't Know everything. the thing is that I don't know which scenario will play out.
I always tell you how much I dont't need you..
but when I'm telling you, I'm really just telling myself..
AND GOD, it feels so good to hear those words.
It feels so god damn good to SAY those words..
even though they're quite untrue.
ha, isn't it funny that I like to think of myself as an honest person.
well, we both know that's not true.. Don't we ?
I finally left you .. I'm sooo successful in life now. Thank you for finally making me see that I didn't need you. Thank you for doing something … the same thing I told you not to do, the same thing I told you irritated me, the same thing that I expressed hurt me, the same thing that filled me with this anxiety, the same thing that is just totally unnecessary, the same thing that't sooo little but so big.. that made me realize that I just can't stand to deal with these lost cause arguments..
I finally vowed to fulfill my empty threats. I've found, gathered, glued together myself.. I left you. I'm becoming who I've always wanted to be without you holding me back..
This scenario always makes me feel strong enough to actually take the first step into it..
This other scenario always comes creeping over like rain clouds covering the sun…
I have left you.. You just came home late again. The last string has been cut. I say my last goodbye.. I can't survive without you.. I can't keep my head above the clouds.. There's a storm coming. I can't even see the sky anymore..
I'm the one who needs to reevaluate. I guess I could be more supportive, I need to stop holding our past against you.
I'm sure it's not only you who needs some work, I know that I'm not perfect.
who is?
Look, I know you love me. I've caused you pain too. I know I have..
I push you away, but there you are. always.
I've always wanted to take the easy way out, I've always had that mentality.
I tell you I tell you let's just start over with new people. we have too much damage. If it isn't working by now, it never will.
I tell myself I don't need you…
I just wish I was strong enough to walk into at least one…
but I'm not. Neither are you.. We're stuck in this revolving cycle.
I just wish I was strong enough for the both of us