Posted by Anonymous on 2017/08/31 under Life When I look back to the good old days, I would have never have thought my life would be the way it is now. I am working towards my freedom and my recovery. Drugs.. it always starts off as fun and games, until you get addicted. I tried so many times to quit using… I was exhausted from being tired, and tired of being exhausted. I needed help, and I always will. How come a little rock, changed everything about my life? I just got out of treatment, when I first got there, the doctor had said to me, "It's going to get worse, before it gets better." And he was right. The first time I ever used crack, I didn't even like it. I didn't like it for months. Until one day, everything changed. It got to the point where I started lying, and stealing from loved ones, and I was just in complete denial of everything that would be in my way to stop my disease. I'm going to NA meetings everyday, and they help. I'm working my twelve step program. It hasn't been easy. I knew it wouldn't from the start. I hated myself, and for the first time in a long time, I can see clear. Not just physically, but mental. I'm becoming more aware of my inner self and my surroundings. I shall turn my self will over to the care of my Higher Power. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference today. As I lay here wondering where my life went wrong, I remind myself I don't live there any more. Those are thoughts my addiction wants me to have so that I use again. For he last 24 hours, I have been struggling and feeling so alone. I know i'm not, so why am I letting my negative thoughts over power me, why Am I not letting my HP help me. Today, just for today. I have remained sober. I am clean, 27 days today. I want to live for me, I want to live where the sun shines, I want to live where the moon glows. I just want to look at the stars, feel the grass beneith my feet, and spin around and around while I yell out, I love myself .I love this universe. I did it. And I will continue to do it, one day at a time. And just for today, I shall go to sleep sober, and remind myself that. I am worth it and that its okay to ask for help. May peace be the journey.