I can’t stand how restless I feel right now. I hate that my best friend is going to be gone for so long and nothing else compares to just spending time with her. I hate that my only love interest is a thousand miles away when this week is the only time I could actually fully devote to him. I tried to run to get rid of my feelings but even that just seemed like a waste of time. It wasn’t enough. I need something active to fill my mind right now instead of the tv or random websites filled with ads and “fun” games. Entertainment. How awful it is that we spend so much money, time, and energy on creating new forms of entertainment but sometimes we are just bored by them? I wish I could take the car and just drive away, do something reckless and insane and when I come back home a few days later I could just say “wow, that was so worth it” because I feel like I haven’t felt that fulfilled in a very long time. I hate being trapped inside and only wanting to be with a handful of people but even they won’t answer my calls or texts, and the only ones that do are the ones traveling or busy, doing much more fun things than me. I don’t lke sitting at home, wishing I could be productive but feeling so incredibly inmotivated to do so. I don’t know how I’m going to get through a week of senseless torture. Spring break is supposed to be fun. But it’s damn near impossible to have fun with no money, car, or people to enjoy it with. I feel so alone. I want to be somewhere out in public, doing some incredible thing that makes people stare and say “wow, I wish I could be like her.” But, I’ll just sit at home, reading my Russian books and listening to mainstream music, pretending that I actually am the person leaping across rooftops. Thank you for reading. I needed to vent to somebody, even if it was just to a computer screen. Thank you.