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Posted by on 2010/09/03 under Uncategorized

I’m trying so hard. I know it would be better for me to let go, to just let the hurt go, but I can’t. You slept with her. Your best friend’s girlfriend. I know we worked through it and our marriage is in a good place right now, but damn it’s so hard. You made amends with him. It was 7 years ago, I know. But I didn’t have to deal with her, with my hurt associated with her. Now they are back and come over to the house all the time. We are all supposed to get along fabulously. Well, damn it, I am trying. I am nice to her. I let her come into our f***ing house and I smile. You want her to feel welcome and not like she’s intruding? Well, I can only do so much. I am only so strong. I was doing so well until you two sat outside talking by yourselves for 30 minutes. Do you not understand how that makes me feel? And when I try to talk to you about my feelings, you make me feel like I’m in the wrong. That it was 7 years ago and I should just let go. Well, f*** you. You make me feel like you are defending her, taking her feelings over mine. You are going out of your way to make her feel… I don’t know what. It feels like you are being too friendly. And it hurts. You can never understand that my heart physically hurts when I think about it. I don’t want to feel this way, but I don’t know how not to.

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