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Posted by on 2011/11/21 under Uncategorized

I feel that my life is not worth living anymore. It’s been stagnated and very little has improved since then.

I have personality disorder which precludes me from meeting up people, working and connecting emotionally with others outside family.

For most of my life, I have derived pleasure only from doing non-social activities due to an intense anxiety and fear of rejection.To make friends is nearly impossible to me seeing that the most prevalent behevioral patten in life has been constant avoidance of everything and everyone out of constant fears and insecurities.

Now I’m almost reaching the age of 30 and still have neither found a girlfred nor a means to provide for myself without depending on my parents’ help.

Recently, I’ve been thinking of how I could disappear forever and considered going off to an isolated place in the peripheral area of my city to never be found again and poison myself. Even if I manage to survive that and linger on for hours or even days I might not be saved.

It’s better to die young than to live a whole life as an old person:limited, dependent,anxious,poor, unwanted and lonely.
ladstarr99@yahoo.com

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