It’s halfway through November, and with every day closer to December, I feel worse. I’m having nightmares, I’m hypersensitive, I don’t want to wake up in the morning, I want to hurt myself and I’m obsessively craving affection from men again… I’m afraid of this person that’s inhabiting my body, the person that always does this time of year. She isn’t me. She’s a girl who was raped five years ago in the month of December, who just can’t help coming back every year and bringing with her all of the anger and pain. And with the awful situation I’m already stuck in, I’m not sure I’ll be able to make it through this time.
I don’t think I can imagine what you’re going through but I have had my fair share of depression and pain. You say this happens every year around the same time, try to think of the fact that when december is over you won’t have to feel this way for another 11 months.
Try to do something constructive during this period even if it feels like it won’t help, something as small as just getting outside the door and take a short walk could help.