Posted by Anonymous on 2014/04/03 under Uncategorized feelings of darkness and insanity, complete chaos swallowing me whole, falling deeper and deeper into a black nothing of fear and self loathing, hating everything and everyone for no reason. as if its their fault im in so much pain. i dont even know what this pain is! i feel like im slowly becomign someone im not, giving in to the darkness inside and fighting to stay alive just doesnt help. like quicksand the more i struggle the farther i go down into the depths of this hell of my own creation, im confused and i feel abused at the deepest level of my soul. i dont know what ive done or whats been done to me but i feel it fusing to my spine like a disease taking hold in my body, these black wings of evil have been my companion for so long and im not sure how to survive without them, theyve kept me safe from the darkness in others because its a bigger darkness that i made a pact with to “protect” me. for it to show itself when something threatens me and the weaker darkness will reel back in fear, but its just a soul trying to hide, im just trying to hide…. im scared of being hurt by others… but in my attempt at hiding im being sucked deeper and deeper into this pit of loneliness, a masquerade of epic proportions playing itself out inside my soul. who am i anymore? ive lost the child i used to be, traded in for a life of solitude and “safety”. its become my greatest friend and my biggest enemy, given me false power over people and imaginary peace that never f***ing existed! and when i try to escape it, it follows me everywhere, because these wings of darkness are attached to my very soul… long, strong, black, demonic wings that i hide around people that i feel wont invade my privacy and when someone tries to get close i flash those puppies and turn into this dark entity and pure rage and hatred… i run and i hide yet there they are, i fight and i struggle and yet im beaten down like a ragdoll.. this thing has had so much power in my life for so long its like cutting off my own arm… well…. lets chop that f***er off, because im DONE!