My first love had a child tonight, a perfect little child, i too had a child with him but one that was givin up. I never realized how much it hurt until now. My, what i believe to be, true love, was diagnosed with lymphoma and has less than a year to live. we have been seperated for over a year and I am now with someone else who sleeps soundly just a few stairs away and has not a clue that im crying myself into madness on the bathroom floor. Why must things be as they are. Im so tired of hearing everything will be alright… you can only hear it so many times before you stop believing it. someone save me tonight, whoever god may be take me home.