I cut myself. Not kitty scratches but actual cuts that need stitches. And for some reason, I’m proud of it. Of them. I like the scars that are REAL. I don’t get stitches because I’m somehow scared of that, but not the blade, and it leaves a larger scar. The problem is I can’t hide them really, so I always wear sweaters, but I love my scars a lot. I’m pretty sure I’m not normal because of that. I think I like them because I deserve them.
This is the start of something bad and a long journey that I don’t think any of us are ready for. I know you think cutting solves all your problems…. but I really do think you need help. Someone is going to find out eventually. You have a deep problem that needs solving and by cutting, you are taking that problem farther! I really want you to have a good life, please get help! .xx
First, as an individual you can’t “judge” that you deserve to be punished/wounded, it makes no sense in every possible way. I used to hit myself and such, I thought it was gonna save me from myself, from my strange thoughts and bad habits…
I suggest you really figure out WHY you like these scars and what they means to you. Then do what you want from there. Just make sure you totally know what you are doing, and be aware that there are a ***load of people with the same thinking. Some ask for help, some don’t.
On a personal note, I believe you do are proud, as you precised they were not “kitty scratches”, as if the size of a scar actually has a value. Maybe you believe they prove you suffered and felt pain, thus giving you the delusion that you are invincible?