Somewhere To Write

Posted by Anonymous on 2013/04/26 under Uncategorized

I’m seventeen years old. In my time on this earth, I have had two boyfriends. Two. The first one lasted six months and ended mutually (thank God) because I was affecting his grades. The second one ended by my hand (again, thank God) because I was being a dork with my friends, and he said he would be embarrassed to be seen with “that thing”, “that thing” being me. It lasted two weeks. I have not spoken to him or looked at him since then. I’m the type of girl who thrives on social contact and love and appreciation, and I get lonely very easily. Friends can come and go, and the ones who stay aren’t always what I need to be comforted. I want a boyfriend who will not let his education suffer while not abandoning me, and I want a boyfriend who isn’t a selfish, self-conscious prick. I’m lonely, and I literately cry myself to sleep every night. I’m agnostic, but I can’t count how many times I’ve prayed and pleaded and begged God or anyone to bring me a guy who will love me as I am and not be embarrassed by me and who will defend me and who will chase after me if I accidentally run past them without seeing them (the guy who called me “that thing” let me do that and just said “Okay, whatever” without going after me). I’m tired of being alone to the point where I’m starting to become desperate, but I don’t want to be desperate at all! I hate being alone, but there’s nothing I can do because every guy in my school is either gay, dating someone else, engaged, or looking at me like “Why is there a potato here”. I don’t want to be alone anymore.

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