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Posted by on 2013/01/07 under Uncategorized

I am being bullied. Definition of being bullied:physical. Not always, it’s gotten physical before. I don’t have any friends, my grades are horrible, girls are cutting themselves. After threatening to kill myself three times I was driven to a mental hospital. I go to a small private catholic school. Where are God’s children…? I don’t see any. I will never be “good enough” I am constantly torn down for what I am. I am the definition of imperfect. Apparently I’m a whore…I’ve never even dated…SINCE WHEN DO CATHOLIC MIDDLE SCHOOLERS HAVE SEX?!? I can’t take this anymore. It all started at the beginning of this school year, when some girl said I said something that I didn’t, when my best friend started to cut herself, when I tried to kill myself, when I got pinched for the first time, when I was called a whore for being “attractive.” (It’s been worse) one time, I tried to cut myself with the post of an earring…no pain was released. It didn’t help at all. Sometimes I’ll cry myself to sleep and ask myself what I did wrong. Some say I don’t nothing wrong, but I did, I did something very wrong. I was given a life and I chose to live it. I don’t deserve a life. I was raised to believe to never be someone that you’re not. And I have a hard time just being who I am and love being it. When I go to school I only get made fun. When boys talk about me, ” She’s not pretty enough.” But then I go home and my Mommy tells me how beautiful I am in every way, which gives me confidence, to believe. Not everything is about how you look, it’s mostly about the kind of person you are. Right now I sure do know a lot of girls who dress like 20 year olds and don’t care about anything else other than themselves. Which has made me look at the world that i live in, look at my life, and be happy with who I am and everything God has given to me. But I don’t want to live. I want to die. One day I’ll be dead and everyone else will win and be happy. FML

5 thoughts on “Just sick of life

  1. Anonymous says:

    I am sorry you have to deal with all this s*** because it sucks. Just remember that it gets better. I promise things work out later in life. Do not kill yourself. Please. Because it gets better. These people that think their “cool” are only a small portion of your life. Remember that this right now, is not the world. There is so much out there that you need to see ok? .X

    1. shannon says:

      it doesn’t get better it gets worse if its not bullying its something else I don’t know how but when nothings going on I still find a way to cry its like an alternate persona ill never be free from and once you get sad once your never able to be truly happy cause you have that one picture in your head that will make you burst in tears make you feel like your not s***

  2. Anonymous says:

    I don’t know if you will ever read this comment, but i hope that you see it before you make a mistake that you will never be able to correct. I lived a life with so much pain and suffering that I fully understand what you are going through. Dont give up, and dont give in to the pain that tells you to end it all. I know you are afraid, and wanting everything to stop, but its not so easy for things to just turn up. You have to keep fighting. You have to build yourself up again. No matter how many times people are going to kick you down. There will always be people there trying to break you, because they got nothing better going on for themselves, but to pay attention to you. If you keep building up, and growing stronger. One day they wont be able to touch you. You will stand strong, but it wont ever happen if you take your life.

    Please find strength within yourself.
    Believe in yourself.
    There is still soo much happiness for you to experience. It will come to you… Just like it did for me. I lived 20 years miserably… I am now 21 and finally living happily and experiencing the world.

    It may take a while for things to change… But when they do… You will be glad you’ve stayed strong until the very end.

  3. somebody says:

    Death .. is a cycle. You kill urself.. you get trapped in same cycle of self destruction and pain. You live it out and be strong with kind heart… you get to have a better cycle of life next time around. It is complicated how we just have to live when we don’t want to. I heard when we disconnect from ourself, we feel like this.. depressed, sad, miserable surrounded by miserable people.
    I suggest you find a hobby to express urself. let it out through an activity that isn’t cutting or crying. As for whore, who care what anybody says.. as long as you know who u are !

  4. Anonymous says:

    “One day I’ll be dead and everyone else will win and be happy”

    U will let them win??

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