I have so many things to express, but I can’t seem to put it in words.. Just sum up everything people talk about on this website… that’s what I feel..
I need help. I need help now. I have to get out of here… I’m trapped in a small space where no human will ever find. People talk to me everyday. what for? I’m nothing. Just like you said, right? I’m a piece of s***, nobody wants me. I don’t deserve to be here. I don’t deserve everything I’ve ever gotten. I need to breathe. just help me out. Let me escape from my drowned up, ugly thoughts. I HATE YOU. I hate what I’ve become. what am I? I don’t know anymore. What do I want? what will I become in 5+ years. Maybe I might not even be here by that time. you never know. Is this what you want? I can’t seem to prove you wrong. why can’t we make peace and love, no war. F*** THIS S***. I’m f***ing done with you spoiled people. I need a man to join me on the road…. Help me. I need someone to understand. Why can’t depression be as perfect as a beautiful b****?
Hey, i hope you feel better by the time i post this but here is the best i can do to try and help.
To start, i don’t belive anyone is worthless or insignificant and the same would go for you. However i also do realize that there are questions in the world about about what makes someone better or a more worthy person than others. While i dont have any life changing answers to that, i do believe that the base trait that people should aim for in becoming a significant person is to find happiness for themselves in some way. However i also see the delema of me saying find happiness when you aren’t happy. For that, the best i can do is to tell you that i think you are significant and that there are always people out there ready to help you in any way. That includes help with finding happiness and there is nothing wrong with getting help.
Then to try and answer the problem of how you say you get stuff you don’t deserve. I want to tell you about a quote that says something like “the more we recieve, the more that is expected of us.” People get good and bad stuff everyday that they may or may not deserve and its true, it isnt fair. Life cant always be fair. But that doesnt have to hold you down. If you get something good that you dont believe you havent earned. Use what you get to do something positive. This can be something like helping the poor or just to indulge yourself.
Then on the note of the “what am I” stuff. When i had/have a similar delema, i usually end up thinking about what makes someone, someone. What has made me be me. Amd what i have come to think (this is my own idea and in no way should this be taken as 100% true) is that whether you believe in things like a soul or not. People are shaped by the events they experience and they are defined by how they react to events in their life. What events have you experienced and how have you reacted to them? If you dont think you reacted well to an event, the simply learn from it and try not to do it again. And dont hate yourself for anything that you did or did not do. Life cant be perfect and there WILL be mistakes made (just like in my writing ;).
Hope that this helps and know that I at least care and there are bound to be many more people who do and will come to care about you.
As always, stay happy 🙂