did’nt have a chance to say goodbye
we had so much in common,we loved eachother and 4 words ruined it all,how could i of have been so stupid as to let our love die and worste of all you as weel,i loved you,i honestly did and then i said 4 words and you took your life to be with me but i [..more..]
Why?!
I’m not intended to live, I know that, but why am I alive, what is making me live? I’m sick, I don’t know with what, all I know is the pain I keep feeling, its real, it burns. But why does that mean I have to put up with it. The stomach pains, the chest [..more..]
pain
i have a test 2morrow…i hope i do good, cause i’ve been studying for this test…am just not a good test taker…when i see a test i blank out and forget what i learned before hand…am just so scared…if i do bad on this test and my test on friday…then what am i here for…its [..more..]
Grief
I wish I could believe in the afterlife. I wish I could believe the soul left the body upon death and ascended into some beautiful realm. I wish more than anything that I had faith. I have no faith. Now I will never be sure. My anamchara died, my best friend, my sworn soul mate. [..more..]
On these black tiled
As i cut myself, knowing that ill bleed. I feel some sense or relief. For This red hot blood, pulses irraticly. It rushes and pounds against the walls of my brain. Stop! Let silence consume me. Time can move forward.. I have no business there. In a bright world of stark reality and pain. As [..more..]
down falls
i don’t know what to do half the time. My life has been hell. I mean my mom and dad when i was little did not care about me. and now i just have problems. I have two different heart problems, have muscle problems and i cant have sugar. And i hate it i just [..more..]
overwhelmed
im so overwhelmed because of my body structure. im fat but most people say im thick but i feel so desperate to slim down only thing that i cant because im ill and the illness that i have makes me this size eventhough if i try to excercise i loose the weight and then i [..more..]
Birthday Musings
I turn 20 tomorrow. I’ve always found birthday celebrations frivolous, but, this year, I’m struck with some odd sensation of guilt upon changing my age. Since I began university two years ago, I have struggled with an eating disorder and with each stepping stone in my life – New Years, the start of winter, the [..more..]
I messed up BIT time… :’/
So, I did something really bad.. I have this boyfriend, and I love him to death. Like I really think he’s my true one. But have you ever been on the site Chatroulette? Well on the site, nothing is sincererd. It’s all out in the open. And normally the guys want to see some part [..more..]
low self confident and always think negative
i have so many thing im thinking in my mind.firstly, i love to dance but i dn’t have those swag or have the dancer body or moves like a dancer.i remember once dancing infront or my friend and they call me skeleton as im skinny.seeing other girls can dance make me so sadd. secondly,i realise [..more..]