Posted by Anonymous on 2014/11/24 under Uncategorized Alright so for months now I’ve been blabbing about a boy I’ve been in love with. You know the blah he cuddle with me, blah he held my hand, blah blah I thought he was finally going to kiss me, blah he held me so tight tonight I forgot everything terrible and it felt like he put me back together, blah blah blah blah blah… ANYWAY…. We got into an argument in front of our friends and later he apologized and I apologized for over reacting and I thought everything would be okay… But things got weird, he started drifting and he got quiet and I figured that he got uncomfortable being with my/our friends so when he said he wasnt joining us for lunch I assumed he was getting together with some old friends and I was okay with it, I wanted him to have fun. I thought his friends could cheer him up. Well the next day came and he didn’t show up at lunch, I figured another day out with the boys. After school I saw him with a girl, they weren’t holding hands or walking close or anything and she got into his car. I figured maybe she’s a friend from work and she needs a ride because the buses take forever and she probably starts early or something. Well I didn’t want to bug him about it because he had a different female friend and I over reacted about him talking to her and he ended up telling me he didn’t like her and that showed me the message that he had sent her telling her that he wasn’t interested and that he would only be a friend to her, and I felt better. I learned my lesson to trust him. Anyway so I didn’t askhim about the girl, aand one morning he just started talking to me like old times and I thought he’s going to come over and we’re gonna cuddle and be cute and listen to music etc. And he talked to me and then he stopped and an hour later I got a message… “Idk if she (my best friend) told you, but I kind of have a girl friend now” and my world fell apart. I was so confused and broken. I was also mad that he told my best friend (who doesn’t even like him) before he told me anyway i got angry and i told him i was happy gor him but that i was upset bwcause i liked him and i just needed time to let it sink in but that i wasnt mad, i wanted to stay friends. and for a long while I blamed myself for what happened between me and him because I never told him out loud that I loved him. I assumed he knew and the thing is from the sound of what he sent my friend it sounded like he understood that I would be upset that he knew I liked him which in turn only made me bitter, but it didn’t stop me from missing him as both a person i loved and as a friend. So I tried reaching out, I stopped avoiding him in the hallways, and one day I decided it’s time to get back to normal. So I looked at him and he looked at me forthe ffirst time and he looked down in a panic but I didn’t I kept looking at him and he looked back up at me and I smiled at him and he gave me a half smile as if he hoped that it was okay that my smile was meant for him. And I thought alright that was step one, we can only get better from here. But he suddenly stopped taking our usual route. It was like all of a sudden it felt like he was avoiding me. And I thought I’m being crazy. But I think its funny when I avoided him I had to force myself to do everything in my power to not see him and still he showed up everywhere. But now that I want to move on, to move back to being friends I don’t see him at school, but I see him outside of school in the oddest places and the most random times but we’re usually in our cars and he doesn’t look at me. So my best friend told me, he randomly texted me the other day and we got to talking and I don’t hate him anymore, I think he’s a funny guy. And I got jealous, not that I thought they liked each other but that he reached out to her instead of me 🙁 me and him were far closer than they were. And I don’t know, it bothers me that he told her that he had a girl friend before me, and I hate that he reached out to her instead of me… Why would he want to be her friend and not mine? And all of this kind of hurts because my best friend like my #1 best friend loved having him around because he completed our group of friends because he had another guy in the group and he misses that. And I feel bad, because it’s my fault for not getting over it sooner. I should have kept my mouth shut. I should have sucked it up and we’d still be really good friends. I should have kept it to myself and moved on on my own. I just want him to join us when we hang out, I want him to talk to me about music. I want to be there for him. I want to give him advice about his relationships. Idk I want things to go back to the way they used to be. But I can’t stop thinking about him reaching out to my friends instead of me.
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Please don’t feel sad. You will eventually move on. I’d like to let you know one thing, that I understand after experiencing it myself. It’s very difficult to talk to somebody one has a sentiment for. It’s much easier to talk with friends (friends meaning friends one doesn’t have feelings for). I can talk very naturally with friends about anything, but when it comes to facing the one person I have a crush on, I can’t seem to speak from my heart. That can explain why the guy keeps talking to others instead.