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Posted by on 2018/07/06 under Life

I don’t understand how people can be happy. I try and try but it never comes. Most days I just think that I’m not meant to be happy. My suicdial thoughts are coming back. I honestly do not want to tell anyone. I just wanna go far away and just disappear. If I told my family they would just say that I’m going to hell and that god is going to be disappointed in me. I no longer feel motivated to live. I just wanna go slit my wrist and bleed out. I just need help………

2 thoughts on “Happy Or Not

  1. Anonymous says:

    I’m not very religious. For me it’s not a question of going to hell or not. I’m not sure if there is a god. But in the end it doesn’t matter to me.
    Maybe there is, maybe there isn’t. If there is there is one thing I’m sure about. He gave us the resposibility and the gift to decide for ourselfes. Free will is something astonishingly amazing and at the same time a very frightening thing. Because it is your decision what you do with your life.

    Living isn’t easy. It’s really not. It doesn’t mean that you are happy all the time. There are always hard times. Things that hurt you, things that make you feel bad and things you don’t really want to do.

    I lost my father 4 days before my 18th Birthday. I could have lost my Mother in the same week because of cancer as well – but she survived.

    I thought back then that the world was against me. That my father had abandoned me by quitting fighting against his illness (that I didn’t know he had). I only aknogleged that he was gone from my life.

    That I had to go on with my life without him. It took me a really long time to understand, that even if you have the feeling that your world has stopped – it actually does go on. No matter what happens – life goes on.

    And at some point years later I understand, that he probably didn’t want to die. But he had no choise at that point. He was probably pretty frightened about his diagnosis. Still the went to the hospital and let them try to help him. He just lost his battle.
    And sometimes it is just that.

    One thing I learned back then, is that no matter how hard and unplesant life is sometimes – It still is an amazing gift. Because as long as you live there is ALWAYS the possibility that it will get better. And there is a certainty that there will not only bad times but also good times worth experiencing.

    Don’t stress yourself to be happy. Don’t feel guilty about what others my think. It is your life and there will be good moments as well as bad ones. I can promise you that. NEVER GIVE UP HOPE THAT IT WILL GET BETTER.

    One thing I learned after my fathers death is that life no matter how hard it is…it is an amazing gift to us. A possibility. Don’t throw it away now. Even if you can’t see it at the moment, you would waste so many good memories and great experiences.

    Please know, that you are not alone with the Things that you feel. One of the supid things we do every day is that we focus on the bad things. I do that too – every single day! I don’t want to – but I do. But if you focus on the things that make you life hard and painful you can’t see anything else.

    But still its there. It is something like enjoying ice cream or a chocolate bar. Or a good coffee in the morning. Spending time walking on a beach or trough a wood. Hearing good music or a funny joke. Reading a good book or watching your favorite TV Show. Buying something for yourself that you wanted to have for a long time or spending time with friends or your pet.

    There are so many things in life that I don’t want to miss. That I do want to continiue to experience. I am sure you have those things too. They might seem small and insignificant to all the bad things that are happening to you. But they are not!

    Life is always a mixture of good and bad things. And it is easy to let the bad things impact you more than the good things.

    But remember: You don’t own anybody anything. BUT you do own yourself the chance to be able to experience the good things that your life can give you!

    I do sent you all my thoughts and love. Don’t give up. No matter how hard it is sometimes, because your life can be a gift from you to yourself.

  2. Anonymous says:

    There is more to life then whats going on in the moment. you have the power to make it great, if you feel like you need help do your research and look up support groups around your area… the suicide hotline is 1-800-273-8255.. they accept calls 24hours… don’t be afraid to ask for help, you are not alone in this… I use to feel the same way, all you have to do is ask for help. Your life has meaning and value. -social worker

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