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Posted by on 2016/08/22 under Uncategorized

As long as we were in survival mode we had problems. Now we have real problems. Finely we can all see where we come from and go to – has no one ever known, as far as I am concerened. I seek the truth, what it is all about. But there is a difference, with me. I am not satisfied with my life situation and I have to constantly decide to stay alive – yes or no. Then I have the answer and need to ask why is that? And, do I want to stick to that, or change this want?

I have been born into a distrusting family, with abuse and verbal abuse. Sadly my own parents wanted to escape their own chukdhood memories, only to discover that their kids drove them nuts. So it went more like I was the parent to them. More then once I may have helped them out, and often I did, I know.

I was at once not satisfied with my life situation. It kept this way. All the time I tried to find out how to avoid death. It does not go into my head and physiology, where the dead go, and that stuff is gone at time. That a thing was alive now, and then so called dead all a sudden. I settled for the simpe fakt that I would NOT die.

I must say as a family I did my best to keep them all alive. I had god results with that. Resistance and something else is my mixture. Yet I kept being a no-body. At least for a long long time. Maybe for all of this life-time in this form.

I am so different, that I fit in no category. That is fine. However I was hoping I would make it some day. Then, I ask me, when do you have made it? And, what is then better?

Fast forward, when I know what it is all about, hw will that influence my being here on earth, for now, in this form-life? Ok so I know where the dead go (they are not dead) and I can contact them, and the lost once I can see and talk to – if I choose so. How is that?

If you are a christian then to know where you go to may fighten you. After all you got only two choices, right?

So what woud I know, if I would know? What is it I know or think deep inside when my ego is not listening?

Not dead. Transformation only. Can access all worlds and beings, alive ones, so called dead ones, and lost ones. I can chose where to be and go to a greater degree. Maybe the higher the vibration, the more I can see.

So much is not my own material. Seth material comes into play here. I already know we are transformed. I want greater info, it is not enough for me knowing we survive and transform. Hurray! I just found out I know where we go to! We transform and survive and are in the what I will call for now – cosmos. Meaning with cosmos – all that is. Some of my most favorite teachers are even saying that our inner ego survives, memories, are intact (how could they not?) – so what is my problem?

I have no control. I have no way so far found to talk to the so called other reality in ways that are convincable. As for example when I sit here and talk to you on the phone, I believe and know I did. Others believe me when I tell them. I am taken serious.

I cant understand my cats talk to me the way it could be. And there is fear about losing ones life and others, and there is fear of sickness and this is stressful.

Seth says we are here to train to focus. How about we get a better start-package? And with it we know there is nothing to fear, and the dead can still be seen, and the lost can still be talked to.

It is for this I live. I guess. However right now i feel like -shall somebody else do that s***-work. Give me the good life and no wanting to figure stuff out Are you now satisfied?

I also want that hb of mine, and at the same time keep this one – we are family. Then I go into whys and becauses… and all is ending in depressed thinking. Because I am a person wo clings, and can not let go of people. Not if they became part of my circle.

I have to realize, that I know where we go, and the details I work out along the way. I gotta go. So long.

2 thoughts on “Not my day

  1. Anonymous says:

    Pks replace god with good. this was a typo. thanks.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Wow! That was deep

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