Posted by Anonymous on 2016/06/28 under Uncategorized Hi my name is Steph and today is my birthday. Today I turn 23 years old and let’s just say I’m not too exited about it. Let’s just say it reminds me of how much of a failure I am to my family and how old I feel. Usually people my age are still figuring stuff out, are in and out of dating, college, some even have their life together but with me that isn’t the case. I have no job, still at home, I don’t go to school because it’s expensive and I obviously can’t afford it and don’t want to put my parents through that either as they struggle alone already. But that’s not the case. The case is that I feel useless. When am I going to get my life together? Am I ever going to get it together? Will I ever complete my dreams of going to cosmetology school? Will I ever get married? It’s a bunch of will I I know. But I feel like I’m there for no reason. My family thinks I’m lazy which I’m not going to lie I am but who isn’t it’s not like i sleep all day and choose to do nothing at all I’m at home wake up clean up make dinner 9/10 . My parents are split up btw. I’m just a mess. And being the oldest one out of 4 siblings imagine how I must feel, yeah that’s right useless, I feels like I’m setting the example like if it’s ok for them to slack off when it isnt, I can’t wait for the day when I can wake up and honestly say things are going great for me, I long for the day when I can sit back and think huh I remember when I used to write on somewheretowrite.com cause I didn’t have my life together and I thought everything was falling apart, I can’t wait for that day. I don’t have many friends first of all and the friends I do have I dont feel comfortable venting to, I can’t express my feelings to anyone. I am a very prideful person. I don’t like to cry or show my emotions to
Anyone, in my family we don’t give hugs let alone tell one another we love each other, and sometimes I need a hug. Heck sometimes I can’t even look my mother in the eyes and teller happy Mother’s Day. Idk every year I feel like this. Miserable that is. What is going to become of my life? Will I ever get on my own two feet? Is this normal? Do people my age ever feel the same or is it just me? Idk I guess I just have to sit here and be miserable until I get it together, ? So
Long until next time.
2 thoughts on “My depressing 23rd birthday”
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I might not know the answer to your questions, Stephanie. But I wish you a Happy Birthday. Even if you feel completely useless and you aren’t happy about today, I’m happy for you. I might not know exactly what you are going through, but I hope you find your will and that you are soon able to follow the hopes and dreams that you have for yourself. I wish you the best.
I just want you to know that I am also the oldest of 4 siblings and I have always felt like a failure. even my parents once told me, i am disappointed in you, but i kept my head up and kept in the back of my head that i am the oldest and I have to set the example for my siblings. I want you to do the same. Make a footprint in your own way and do what you want to do even if it is against the odds. I was once told you cant go to college your too dumb. now I am enrolled at a college majoring in one of the hardest majors. Basically what I am trying to say is if people are not laughing at your dreams, then they are not big enough. Do what makes you happy. Success is getting up one more time after a failure. And Most importantly Happy Birthday Stephanie. You can do anything you set your mind too. you made it through 8394 days of your life. make the next ones count.