Hi. I am a christian man in my late 20’s, and I’ve had a bad habit of masturbating and watching porn eversince I was a teenager. I’m steadily breaking that habit now thanks to some helpful tips from others, but the problem I have now is something a little different.
You see, I’ve watched both straight and gay porn in the past, and after a while I started watching more of the gay porn. Now I’m not starting to like guys or anything, but I still feel that exposing myself to gay porn affected me in someway.
I’m hoping and praying that after I break my habit this won’t be a problem anymore and that this is just some temporary phase, because I would love to have a wife one day in whom I’ll love and cherish for the rest of my life. But right now I feel like if I do find my significant other, I won’t be able to provide my half of what a relationship needs.
I’m not gay…and I don’t want to be…So what’s wrong with me?
nothing is wrong with you, its what you like.
Well I shouldn’t like it, this isn’t the way of the Lord, I don’t want something like this changing me as a person but I feel like it has. Like I said before I hope this is just a phase that’ll pass by in time. If my family found out about this they’d be ultimately disappointed in me, and I’d be so heartbroken. I was raised better than this darn it, as a christian, and I don’t want something like that define what I am. I truly am a man of God and I want to live like one even when I’m not around anyone. I really want to live up to God’s expectations as well as my christian family’s so that I can live happily, peacefully, and without regret for the rest of my life and also enter heaven’s gates when I die. If there’s anyone who understands what I’m going through please help me out…
You know.. I feel like if you did ever find your significant other, you’d be open and honest about it and they’d try to understand this part of you. I firmly believe nothing is wrong with you. There’s not one person out there who does something and doesn’t think back to it at some point in their life. You’re young and things will catch your eye. Who’s saying you wont have a wife who you’ll love and cherish? You shouldn’t let this eat away at you or else you will have wasted so much time that you could have put towards something else.
Thanks for your supporting words. You’re right, I shouldn’t let this stress me out, there are so many things I’d like to achieve in life and getting depressed about this won’t help.
I going to start praying about this and just move on from there. And if it is God’s will, maybe I will have a loving wife someday.
Thank you once again, I hope this and the Lord’s strength will help me get through this. God bless you and keep me in your prayers.