Somewhere To Write

Posted by Anonymous on 2017/02/23 under Friends

This is what is going on with me please comment with love/knowledge

1. Can’t control feeling nervous about how my life will turn out
2. losing interest in anything that i used to love
3. ran to california and was homeless for three months out of fear from recent election
4. people dismiss my feelings without realizing how difficult it actually is to express them
5. i get headaches easily (this one is new)
6. i feel inadequate
7. why am i here
8. i feel like i am floating when i am actually doing productive activities
9. i have trouble relaxing (recently stopped smoking weed, which helped, but i need a job so im not homeless)
10. i worry about how i can actually keep living
11. i often want to die but lack the will to end myself
12. i question my own intentions often resulting in a loss of identity
13. when something bad happens my brain stops working and i become an empty husk
14. i am an empty husk
15. my jaw clenches tightly so i try to monitor that
16. i wonder if people actually love me or not
17. i get scared people wont love me if i express myself
18. i try to support myself and others but often hurt them unintentionally
19. i worry about the state of the f***ed up society i live in (the US) and how it simultaneously systematically discriminates against poor and minority populations, while also feeding them to the incarceration system that is actually just a neo-slavery scheme for rich CEOs and politicians to get free labor
20. i cant find any peace
21. my mind gears often stop turning and will build pressure resulting in head pain
22. i stare into the void (or whatever is in front of me) without knowing it while my mind tries to process something (subconsciously)
23. when i feel stressed i will loop actions quickly (like pulsing my hand or foot) without control over the action
24. my eyes cry

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