Posted by Anonymous on 2016/12/10 under Friends Have you ever been afraid of losing something you never had? Cause I do. Every time. I’m afraid of getting too close to someone. Every time I meet someone new, I knew that they wouldn’t last. Don’t get me wrong, I do try to keep these people. I do try reaching them out. I wasn’t like this before. But as I move from places to places as I get older, I’ve met so many people. As a defence mechanism to protect myself, I set my mind to never ever depend my happiness on others. I learned to be okay with just me Although I was alone. I was happy. Not until when I had to go back. I saw them again. It was such a good sight. I get to meet all of them all over again, I got so used to having them I FORGOT BEING ALONE but why? why did i let myself do that? I know that those moments wouldn’t last As soon as my plane left I know that If i get too close this would happen Im tired of getting my hopes up. But then… Even if I’m tired of trying and hoping. I’m still hoping that maybe one day, And someone who would… never… ever… FORGET about me Someone who would always keep me in their hearts ~ Sanna
or that anxious feeling when you think that sooner or later they would all forget about you.
That after sometime, when you’re about to get used of having them in your life they would eventually stop and disappear.
And once again, you are left on your own.
I’m afraid of reaching out and opening up.
I’m so afraid that I built these million walls to protect myself.
I know someday, maybe the day after tomorrow or even the week after, they would get tired of me.
That eventually they’ll get bored and completely forget about my existence.
but I get to these point where I feel like my messages, my calls, and my presence are a bother to them.
That I might be disturbing them from their busy lives.
Maybe I do. Maybe I really do.
I realise that these friends that I ‘called’ and ‘considered’ had gradually stopped caring and in the end forget about me.
Being constantly away from my friends and obliging myself to make new friends had got me to think the way I do now.
There were so many people who came to my life but there are so many people that left.
And no one have stayed.
To not let myself too close to someone.
To not let them see my weakness.
That I’m better off alone.
That I don’t need anyone to be happy.
That myself is enough.
I sealed my heart so that I wont get hurt easily.
And I was doing it well for years.
I did good.
I was content with just by myself.
I didn’t see the need of having someone.
I gathered all my courage to reach out.
I met them once again.
Its been years, though the ones that I’am closed to didn’t come
There were still some good friends that came
I haven’t had those kind of fun for ages
It was so good meeting them
I was so happy…
..Very happy that its almost like a dream
i got so sucked in the moment.
that meeting them again and again for days,
talking to them almost everyday
had made me fall for them
In that short moment
I had LOVE them
Why did i let them get through me?
Why did i let myself love them?
why?
I knew they would eventually get bored
I knew that once I go back to where I live,
They would eventually forget me
They would eventually stopped caring
My existence would eventually disappear
the happy moments that we spent are fading
Yesterdays memories gets buried with todays
once again
I’m getting forgotten
I’m disappearing
I’d get hurt
I miss them badly
but I would only miss them more and more if I keep thinking about them
They don’t miss me
They have completely forgotten about me
Im tired of being disappointed.
Im tired of trying.
just maybe,
I’ll meet someone who will be there for me,
who would put up with me,
who would be beside me,
who would reach out to me,
who would miss my presence,
who would think that I’m not a bother,
who would love me despite of my flaws
2 thoughts on “You have forgotten about me. But even so, PLEASE DON’T FORGET ME”
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Very touching words that struck a cord big time for me
same