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Posted by on 2018/05/31 under Family

imagine you’re a 16 year old female sitting in a room doing your 12 year old sisters hair. You guys are talking and she proceeds to say how you’re desperate and thirsty for boys. You always want their attention and to be around them. Then you call her out and tell her the only reason she is trying to do softball like you is because she wants dads attention. And you say ooh that shut you up real quick. Then she turns around and hits you in the top of your head. And then she throws something at you. You grab her arm so you don’t punch her and tell her to get out. She leaves and goes to tell on you. You get into trouble for grabbing her but she doesn’t get into trouble for hitting you right on top of your head. Your mom tells you how your sister is right you are desperate and thirsty for boys. Then she goes for hurting her you get labor. You have to go pick up weeds in the back of the house. So you said yes ma’am and she yells at you for rolling your eyes when you didn’t and she threatens to take away more things and that’s my life. Im tired of it. It’s the same ol same ol. I always get into trouble for the stupidest things and I’m tired of it. She makes me wanna kill my self because of the way she treats me. I just can’t handle it with her anymore. She told my dad not to argue with me while I’m driving because she thinks I’ll wreck the car on purpose. She thinks I’m a psycho slut basically. And I have done nothing to prove any of those things. I’m just done.

2 thoughts on “My mom

  1. Anonymous says:

    If you really are done, and I mean DONE, get prepared to play the long game. If you are 16 now, you ‘ll be adulting in two years(That aint so far!). This gives you just enough time to start distancing yourself away from your family and towards friends whom you care about more deeply and who will care for you.

    If you don’t think they love you at all (I highly doubt that), then putting some distance between you and them involves becoming independent, step by step. Which means starting to earn money for yourself, which will involve quite a lot of work. You’ll probably need to either recognize what skills you have and put it to commercial use or start learning a skill that will help you earn.

    Also, if you think of going to college you might need to ask for some money from your parents but they owe it to you to at least
    partly pay for it. Because the job you get after college should pay everything back eventually.

    In the meantime, dealing with your sister is quite tricky but it’s a great mental exercise that will help you a lot in the future (surprisingly a lot of grownups behave like idiotic children).I had similar experiences (fights) with my younger brother. Of course, he always ‘won’, either because he was younger, more ‘innocent’ or he didn’t ‘know better’.

    You have to learn to rein in your emotions. Even when she ticks you off, you become the ice queen. Nothing that your parents or your sister do affect you. You’re cool and calm 24×7. Believe me, you’ll be so happy to see how much it’ll piss your mother and sister off. Cold like ice. Behave so politely it shocks them.

    And then leave/dump them after two-three years, and make new friends and hopefully a new family.

  2. Anonymous says:

    While the above commenters had a few pieces of good advice and was supportive from both sides…. Sure you can buy into the first answer as it supports how you feel internally. But if you really want to be Mrs. Perfect Never Be Wrong…read on and accept reality for what it is.

    Forget what the above person is saying about distancing and relying on friends as substitutes for your family. You are far to young to be making a rational life choice of distancing from your family, and that person is planting a bad seed. Distancing is something you do in unstable, broken house holds, were narcissism and abuse factors come into play. Not some decision a 16 year old can rationally make. Dont belive me? The fact that you are on this site seeking advice says you are too young to make your own decisions (by yourself), a person capable of making their own decisions would not do that. there is your proof!

    Adults even have trouble making the “distancing” decision and its a VERY HARD, MENTALLY CHALLENGING….. LIFE LONG ROAD and CHOICE TO MAKE. I know you may not grasp it now, but in 10-14 years (when you are 26-30) explain to your child why they Dont have a Papa and Grand Ma or Aunt to visit at Christmas and other times..and brain wash them to understand it was because your little sister said something and then hit you in the head when she was age 12. and afterwards because Mommy made you pull weeds as a punishment.
    Then you will see, you are planting the seed for your child to do the same thing to you maybe even run away at a younger age!
    Not like mommy and daddy were selling you out as a slave as form of punishment now is it? In fact I bet the whole thing has done been forgotten by you and everyone else. Any Christmas presents under the tree?

    Lets look at it a little different. your sister made a thoughtless 12 year olds remark … but you (big sister age 16 maybe closer to 17) started bullying because you didn’t like it, she embarrassed you, or you didn’t know how to handle the truth. Grab anyone by the arm and try to act like the scolding boss and yes people are going to try and defend them-self, especially the in the sibling rivalry setting (its normal). By the way “sibling rivalry” refers to bickering over insignificant issues such as who stole lipstick.

    Besides that, I am almost sure the younger sister is just repeating something she heard someone else say, perhaps her friends, even your own mother, father or some of the school talk. But if it was said, have you even considered that it could it to be (at least) partially true of how people see you???????? Hummmm?? Outside of that, you said a few things that sound like some internal jealousy exist as well, and both of you seem/sound to be competing for mommy and daddy attention and approvals.

    You are 4 years older than her and should set a better example. that is most likely why you were punished if not by jerking her arm like some aggressive out of controll girl thinking that she is acting like an adult. Adults (with any dignity and respect, for them self and others, do not act that way. Its unacceptable in private and in society.

    Outside of that, I dont know a 16 year old girl alive, that didnt have boy magnetism or was not boy crazy to some 16 year old hormonal degree. All Females are hardwired to want boys. All Males are Hardwired to want girls. Its life and nature and happens to every creature on this planet. So accept the facts.

    Outside of that, no matter how unfair it seems now, pulling weeds it not some Major capital punishment; and more so its a just punishment if you did in fact ROLL YOUR EYES (and there are not many 16 year old girls who don’t)! Its disrespectful and you know it and you are challenging your parents authority by showing disrespect. So again you were faulted.

    Use that time (weeding) to reflect on who you are, how you act and react, how you sound from their stand point. Most all 16 year old girls think their periods and budding breast make them a woman or give them some equal authority of opinions. NOT SO, A True woman comes in time and with experience! A woman knows how to act and react and that is not like some Trailer Trash HIP HOP, loud mouth black woman waving her finger in everyone’s face and thinking she is always right or cant be wrong.

    College… yes. Definitely start focusing on college plans now, but be aware that you dont always have to depend on mommy and daddy to pay your bills and they might not be able to. Besides, When you graduate and turn 18 you are considered an adult and your parents are not obligated to pay a dime for anything for the rest of your life. It will be their choice based on their financial abilities, not how much they love you or care for you! These days not everyone has a billion dollar job or wishes to be in dept (owe large sums of money) until they die.
    But based on the other person parent knifing advise (Plot to distance yourself from your family but make them pay for your college education….); if your parents have a ounce of common sense (and I suspect they do) and you try that approach, paying for your college education while you distance yourself from them…..ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! YOUR On YOUR ADULT OWN!

    Depend on your friends, there are not many friends who will carry you either. The fact is those school time friends, they will start living their own life and not have time for your life’s dramas. They may even begin to see that if you are willing to distance yourself from family, you can very easily do the same thing to them over some petty problem, issue, disagreement and abandon you as they deem you untrustworthy.

    One last thought on the college! You do not always have to take out loans, go into deep financial debt just to go to college. There are to many College GRANTS now days that will help as well as pay your way, or at least help pay the majority, and you can get more than one grant at a time. I Went to college for 3 years and never paid a dime!

    But the best advise… quit focusing on the sister rivalry, who gets in trouble and who does not. Focus on your schooling, and your learning (to be a better and dignified respectable woman as you grow into one)!

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