Somewhere To Write

Posted by Anonymous on 2018/03/20 under Love

You know what the worst feeling is? Is when you try so hard, and I mean wake up 5AM hard, to look pretty for school, and he doesn't even notice. I mean lets face it, the only time he talks to you is when your friend is around, and by god do you treasure those moments. You think "Maybe he's here for me", and every time she leaves you watch him slip away. He's not that beautiful, scars down his cheeks and black eyes that have virtually no feeling in it. His personality isn't that appealing either, he crude, with humor blacker then the night sky. But you see a similar insecurity, one that is reflected in yourself. You see the time spent in his hair, gelled upon his head, art in its own meaning. You see the time spent on his clothes, color brighter, brighter, each time you see him, and you stupidly think he is doing this for you, for you want to believe someone thinks you are deserving of a rainbow. In public, you wonder why you are attracted to him, his scars on his cheek, the scars he leaves on people aren't qualities of a Prince Charming. But it is no use wondering why your eyes cant decipher when they are trained on him, every day. And as he makes every self deprecating joke, you realize you love him not for who is, but what he fears. His crippling insecurity, one you understand in yourself, provides safety and understanding for you, as it is simply like loving yourself. He hates his scars, but you love them, because you wish for someone to do the same to you. But he will not love you, they way you love him, and that is okay, because you deserve better then a reflection of yourself, you deserve better then what you can give yourself. You realize you need to open your heart to another, yourself.

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