Posted by Anonymous on 2015/09/05 under Uncategorized I have a complete family unlike the others and I have a lot of friends to hang out with While being alone, I started chatting on the web with people from all over the world.
But why o why do I still feel like I’m always alone all the time.
I’ve searched google and read a lot of sites and they all have the same opinion.
“To have someone who could be beside you and to open to”
And that’s the problem, I don’t know how to open up to anyone
Although I have a lot of person with me, I have this doubt that they actually don’t like me and they’re just stuck being with me.
I know I shouldn’t be thinking this way, but it’s not like I can erase it with a snap or just after some sleep it would be alright again
I love my family and I love my friends but I think that if I don’t become a good perfect person to them then they’ll just replace me and leave me and because of this I restraint myself from being myself and thus can’t be open with them with my feelings.
I really don’t like to be alone, but sometimes being alone is the only time that I could totally express myself more!
So I can’t really tell if I’m alright with that or not.
And I noticed that I’m more open to them than any other people in my real life.
That’s why I like chatting with someone every single time that I’m online.
But as we all know, If there’s a good thing then the bad thing is just right around the corner to bite your butt!
I’ve met a lot of friends online, it’s great the first and second time we chat but after that it became awkward cause there’s no more topic to say. I tried to make things more interesting but in the end our chat box became a barren ground.
Every time this happens, I’m totally depressed like s***
Does having a friend to talk to through online is bad? Does chatting everyday weird cause you can’t see that person face-to-face?
I just wanted to express myself cause I can’t express it in real life.
Other’s may say that I should get a life or just I should get a boyfriend that could understand me
Let me just say that i’m totally the shy type so confessing my love to my unrequited love is pretty much a no go.
And the only thing that I could do to get a boyfriend is to be confessed to which could only be a miracle.
So all in all, I don’t really know what to do now except to wait for someone.
Sigh, could anyone just know the real me and not just the perfect goody two shoes i’m always showing.