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Posted by on 2014/10/22 under Friends

you’re my favorite month
but this year it just seem so bad for me
from losing my rabbit two days before my birthday
over an action that someone else made that
I can’t even control, to ending up having so many
overwhelming situations happen where I am constantly
manipulated and verbally abused in my own so called “HOME”
and now just when I thought things couldn’t get worst
for me and I told myself things will get better
someone starts to write messed up messages to me
anonymously through tumblr
I decide to maybe go out with my brother and his girlfriend
to see Dracula and it was an amazing movie and boom
I literally end up losing my wallet not understanding how
and instead of people telling me it’ll show up or its okay
these things happen I have everyone in my ear saying whats your
issue where is your head, and just when I didn’t think things could
be more intense my charger for my Iphone 5 broke
so here I am still holding on strong being positive
and within all of this chaos in my life
everyone is still trying to come to me with their problems
and at this rate I am overwhelmed with my life and
my health issues and my mental illnesses I worked my ass off to
be so positive and strong and I feel that everything is just exploding around
me and it just truly sucks
I strongly made it clear to alot of people who mainly come to me
for advice whether then even at least once check up on me that I am over
them and their issues because there is so much one can do for someone else
and honestly I have some friends a handful amount and
its not even physical friendships more like emotional and mental
because I don’t see any of em like that at all and
I just don’t really care to because honestly
I don’t feel anyone ever thinks of me as a human being but such as a
therapist and that’s where I draw the line
I’m human I battle so much in my life
and yet feel as if I have to take on everyone else’s battle
I could be freaking out and maybe make it aware of it
does anyone care no they’ll continue venting about the littlest
s*** that they could truly fix it baffles me with how
strong I am and how much I could be here for people even when my whole
world is crashing and not once do any of them think of me for s***
I don’t believe anyone truly cares or ever did
there’s always a opening being left between
the good and the ones who don’t really need the good
until it benefits them
I am drained utterly drained
and I am sick and tired of being such an amazing friend
and feeling bad if I neglect these so called “Friends”

anyways that’s my little vent session towards
October, I hope this months speeds up
and hopefully the process calms a little down..

One thought on “Dear, October

  1. behind4visions says:

    whether they*

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