I am trapped. I am lost. I am holding my breath, because there is something lurking in the darkness of my mind. Medical school is eating all my time, my life, my soul. It becomes harder and harder to walk down the path, put one foot in front of the other. I am no one. I am nothing. I would rather not be. I’m losing the love of those important to me. I am losing my family. I am losing time. Time, that runs so fast. People do not understand. The work. They know, but they do not understand. The price you have to pay, to put up front. You think ‘oh I’ll have a good job’. But you’ve given so much for it, that it comes with that bittersweet taste on the side. A side dish. To remind you everything that you’ve lost. I’m losing myself, I’m losing my friends, my lover, I’m losing money. I’m losing sanity. I want to give up. Curl up in a ball, hit my head against a wall, let it flow outside of me. That darkness lurking inside of me.
I am tired, I am lost. I do not know where to go. Simply that soon I will not be able to go on. I’m tired. So tired. Give up, sometimes I just want to give up.
It is so hard sometimes, I know and I understand. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to open your eyes and look for it. All these things that you are doing right now, will matter down the road. All of these struggles will be worth it. Think about how amazing you are for being in medical school! And think about how many opportunities will come for you in the next couple of years. You need to evaluate yourself and figure out why you are so unhappy and stressed. But focus on the pleasure that will happen in the future, not the pleasure you need right now. Because I know you are strong enough not to give up. Good Luck. You can make it through this. .X
Do you really want to be in a medical school or your family just forced you in it? sorry, i just wanna know because i know how it feels like to be in a situation you don’t wanna be and to do things against your will.